Joke Thread II

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Vegetables are good for you. That's not necessarily the same as tasting good.
I'm a happy omnivore, but it does make me laugh when people say "why do vegetarians try to make things that look like burgers or sausages?".
What part of a dead animal looks like a burger?
On the other hand, I like to fashion minced beef into the shape of Brussel sprouts.
 
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Reminds me of the steeplejack Fred Dibnah's quote. "I've never fell off of a big chimney, you'd only fall off one of them once".

Another F/D quote
(Whilst demonstrating how to ladder a chimney) "As you get a bit higher up, the holes have a tendency to get a bit deeper; I think it's called fear"
 
Vegetables are good for you. That's not necessarily the same as tasting good.
I'm a happy omnivore, but it does make me laugh when people say "why do vegetarians try to make things that look like burgers or sausages?".
What part of a dead animal looks like a burger?
On the other hand, I like to fashion minced beef into the shape of Brussel sprouts.
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Reminds me of the steeplejack Fred Dibnah's quote. "I've never fell off of a big chimney, you'd only fall off one of them once".
I worked (50 years ago) on a bridge 100'+ high - the steel erectors always maintained falling wasn't worth worrying about as it wouldn't hurt.
 
I worked (50 years ago) on a bridge 100'+ high - the steel erectors always maintained falling wasn't worth worrying about as it wouldn't hurt.
That would be correct - whizzing through the air like superman would be fun. Whacking into the ground at the end of the flight could be a bit of a bummer though..
 
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