Joke Thread III

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Has the Joke Censor been at work
Would that be this one?
https://aleteia.org/2018/11/27/the-...er-so-large-it-needs-a-whole-church-to-swing/
1683129006237.png
 
You have to wonder how with the safety keeps on a nail gun how he managed to fire it into his scrotum, all the nail guns I have seen have to be pushed against a material to release the safety before it can be fired. 🤔

Now I understand it was in the Daily Mail. 🥴
 
Not a joke but a conversation reported by a bloke on another (non-woodworking) forum between his wife and a friend. It went something like this.

'Hi Doreen.' (followed by general chit-chat and exchange of gossip) then;
'Have you got the movie Gladiator on DVD? That's right, the one with Russel Crowe. You do? OK stick it on. (pause) Ready? Now track forward to 1 hour 24 minutes and 35 seconds and let me know when you're there. (pause) Got it? OK do you see the Roman soldier on the right? Yes? Just behind him there are two gladiators. See them? Just between them and standing behind there's a slave girl carrying a jug of wine. See her? Well, they're the sandals I want for my birthday.'

Don't try and understand 'em, just love 'em.
 
Caution..expensive sandals .. may cause severe pain to bank accounts.
Ancient Roman or Greek Sandals..probably means these sort.
https://www.ancient-greek-sandals.com/en/usd/product/2642800/Women/ST-TROPEZ/or
https://www.ancient-greek-sandals.com/en/usd/womens-sandals/comfortable?TableLookupStr=454@19139678@or
https://www.rondini.fr/en/No more than €10.oo of leather per pair in any of them at trade prices.and no more than 30 minutes work even for the Romini hand made ones*

I have just walked in the door after buying shoes for SWMBO ( usually me who buys hers ) to try on when she gets back later this after..
Not theseabove sort..comfortable DM type ( leather with cushioned soles )..because it still isn't summer here, thunder storms forecast tomorrow and over the week-end...and she doesn't want to be walking between patients / clients in wet feet. doesn't cycle when it is windy, ( 43kgs ) gets blown all over the road.

* I know..I have the machines and leather, and skills to make them, and other leather stuff.
sandals are like bikinis and lingerie etc, the less there is, the more they cost.

( I'm thinking the female members here will "like" when they see. )
 
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Caution..expensive sandals .. may cause severe pain to bank accounts.
Ancient Roman or Greek Sandals..probably means these sort.
https://www.ancient-greek-sandals.com/en/usd/product/2642800/Women/ST-TROPEZ/or
https://www.ancient-greek-sandals.com/en/usd/womens-sandals/comfortable?TableLookupStr=454@19139678@or
https://www.rondini.fr/en/No more than €10.oo of leather per pair in any of them at trade prices.and no more than 30 minutes work even for the Romini hand made ones

I have just walked in the door after buying shoes for SWMBO ( usually me who buys hers ) to try on when she gets back later this after..
Not theseabove sort..comfortable DM type ( leather with cushioned soles )..because it still isn't summer here, thunder storms forecast tomorrow and over the week-end...and she doesn't want to be walking between patients / clients in wet feet. doesn't cycle when it is windy, ( 43kgs ) gets blown all over the road.
You're a brave man. I wouldn't dare to buy shoes for my wife. Whatever I got would be wrong.
 
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