Joke Thread III

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I remember back when ABS was newish, a pic of a car which had collided with the back of another car and one driver was saying to the other " the ABS worked a treat, the wheels never locked once before I hit you"
Incidentally, Aristotle DIDN'T say what's in your sig :cool:
 
Wonder how one can be so sure!

Many folks cant rememeber what they said an hour ago let alone accurately recall everything someone who I'd assume they've never met said in 384 BC !!
Because what he DID say was recorded (no, NOT on DVD or in Wikipedia) and the quoted version in question was essentially a (possibly deliberate) misinterpretation dating from the 1980s.

Next question, please...... :cool:
 
Because what he DID say was recorded (no, NOT on DVD or in Wikipedia) and the quoted version in question was essentially a (possibly deliberate) misinterpretation dating from the 1980s.

Next question, please...... :cool:

But, is there a reliable, and documented, record of what he DIDN'T say, as well ?
 
A bloke is watching the Big Match when his phone alerts him to a text. It's his neighbour, Derek.
Graham. I have to tell you I've been tapping your wife for the past three months. I'm terribly ashamed of it and I promise I've stopped and it won't happen again. Please accept my apologies. Derek.
The bloke is incandescent and storms upstairs, throws some of his wife's belongings into a suitcase and charges back downstairs to the kitchen where his wife is cooking dinner. He pushes her out of the back door, throws the suitcase after her and locks her out.
As he makes his way back to the front room to continue watching the match, his phone goes again. It's his neighbour.
Bloody predictive text! That should have read wi-fi not wife.
 
As I understand it, it actually takes longer to stop with ABS than non-ABS if you aren't just slamming the pedal down. The advantage, again as I understand it, is that you can still steer and brake hard, which is of course a damn fine idea. Great pic to explain though although as the non-ABS dog (!) has stopped slightly before the ABS one. (What have I just written? lol)
 
As I understand it, it actually takes longer to stop with ABS than non-ABS if you aren't just slamming the pedal down. The advantage, again as I understand it, is that you can still steer and brake hard, which is of course a damn fine idea. Great pic to explain though although as the non-ABS dog (!) has stopped slightly before the ABS one. (What have I just written? lol)
As I understand it, ABS exploits the difference between limiting friction and sliding friction. Theoretically, one could stop more quickly by braking just enough to avoid sliding, but the cadence braking is a good second best. Quite how friction behaves when dragging through sand was not covered when I studied physics over 50 years ago.
I love the smell of dead frogs in the morning!
 
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