Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
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AES
Established Member
Going back to work days, the "manager" who, whenever he got a "real job" to do ALWAYS quickly slid out of it without anyone noticing (except the poor sods who had to report to him)! Name?
Teflon
Teflon
artie
Sawdust manufacturer.
Isn't 1d also 2d?
Doug B
Shy Tot
Kittyhawk
Established Member
Recently I was in the hospital having a bit of surgery done.
On admission they did a number of tests, neccessary for us senior citizens so they said. Presumably to avoid the inconvenience of having elderly patients kicking the bucket on the theatre table.
Included in the tests was an ECG. As an ex ambo I have done a lot of ECG's so completely relaxed about having one myself and also confident that the only abnormality they might find would be a slightly elongated P-R interval - not unusual in a person of my age.
Its important that you keep completely still during an ECG and as the test concluded the nurse behind the monitor said 'uh-oh!', followed by 'Oh...oh dear..' a few seconds later. Now I can absolutely assure you that 'uh-oh' is the last exclamation you ever want to hear during an ECG. And then, 'excuse me, I need to call my colleague' which provided a further boost to my fright level and probably soaring blood pressure.
She soon returned with a man in a white coat and there was a problem alright. The paper rhythm strip had jammed in the machine and she couldn't print out a hard copy. This they quickly resolved.
'Ok,' she said with a chirpy smile. 'All done', totally oblivious of the fact that she'd darned near killed me.
On admission they did a number of tests, neccessary for us senior citizens so they said. Presumably to avoid the inconvenience of having elderly patients kicking the bucket on the theatre table.
Included in the tests was an ECG. As an ex ambo I have done a lot of ECG's so completely relaxed about having one myself and also confident that the only abnormality they might find would be a slightly elongated P-R interval - not unusual in a person of my age.
Its important that you keep completely still during an ECG and as the test concluded the nurse behind the monitor said 'uh-oh!', followed by 'Oh...oh dear..' a few seconds later. Now I can absolutely assure you that 'uh-oh' is the last exclamation you ever want to hear during an ECG. And then, 'excuse me, I need to call my colleague' which provided a further boost to my fright level and probably soaring blood pressure.
She soon returned with a man in a white coat and there was a problem alright. The paper rhythm strip had jammed in the machine and she couldn't print out a hard copy. This they quickly resolved.
'Ok,' she said with a chirpy smile. 'All done', totally oblivious of the fact that she'd darned near killed me.
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Doug B
Shy Tot
flying haggis
Established Member
pedant...
We have a nads too, who really is called nads ( morano ) they could be clones.. in every way.
European ( soz nads D ) karens. ( actually marjories*) is probably closer.
*MTG Always makes me think of I R baboon
European ( soz nads D ) karens. ( actually marjories*) is probably closer.
*MTG Always makes me think of I R baboon
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Doug B
Shy Tot
The only reason I have one. 
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RobinBHM
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Doug B
Shy Tot
I will remind you that this is not a political forum.
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Keith Cocker
Established Member
Oh err missus! Calm down dear
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