Joke Thread 4

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My thoughts exactly.

Wiki - Joseph Trevor Wicks MBE, also known as The Body Coach, is a British fitness coach, TV presenter, social media personality and author

Makes sense why I haven't heard of him.
laugh love GIF

Edit2. Sorry, Him/They/Them/whatever
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I wonder if people sponsoring signs like this realise that if the chicken wasn’t going to be part of the food chain it would actually be alive in the first place. There certainly won’t be fields full of lambs frolicking in the spring sunshine if they weren’t destined for the abattoir at some point. I don’t usually get involved in emotive subjects like this but the dichotomy of the thought process astounds me.
Lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to her husband Johnny:

“I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

Johnny replies. "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues. "Yeah, I've been with one other guy."

“Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

“Tiger Woods."

“Tiger Woods, the golfer?"


“Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with him."

Then Johnny and his wife then make passionate love.

When they get done, Johnny gets up and walks to the telephone.

“What are you doing?" Says the wife.

Johnny says. "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

Johnny puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love with his wife a second time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone.

"What are you doing?" She says.

Johnny says. "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

Johnny slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time.

When they finish he's tired and beat.

He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial.

The wife asks. "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this hole."

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