Joke Thread III

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That tesco BBQ for a quid looks great value. It has handy wheels for moving about, and is double sided so you only have to clean it half as often.

I bet it even has the name of the people you got it from on the handle, so if you ever need another it reminds you where it came from. Neat.
 
That tesco BBQ for a quid looks great value. It has handy wheels for moving about, and is double sided so you only have to clean it half as often.

I bet it even has the name of the people you got it from on the handle, so if you ever need another it reminds you where it came from. Neat.
Exactly correct.
But it was a bit of a buggar getting it out of Manchester Ship Canal.
 
Well yesterday was a 'Stuart' day, & then when I looked toddy, I saw it all, now I cain't get it outa my head!!

Well, well, Stuart.....who'd have thought it! :cool:
Are you the damn thing gone wild?
Worrying outta your mind?
The damn thing gone blind?

(Just been (trying to) sort out the shed, Stu. It's definitely a case of Betty Swallocks, matey....)
 
A bloke's laying in bed reading when his wife walks into the bedroom wearing only her bra and panties.
She looks at him seductively and asks, 'Have you ever seen a crumpled $20 note?'
He shakes is head and she reaches into her bra and produces the note which she throws on the bed. Then she asks, 'Have you ever seen a crumpled $50 note?'
Again he shakes his head and she reaches into her panties and pulls one out and throws it on the bed.
'And have you ever seen a crumpled $30,000?' she asks.
His heart is pounding as he shakes his head.
'Well you'd better take a look in the garage,' she says.
 
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