Joke Thread II

[Doug B]

 

[johna.clements]

Jokes are very much in the eye of the teller, not everybody sees the same things as funny!!

I would find it funny if I was handing in my expenses with that on. Putting a whiteboard down on the food column, how much confusion is that going to cause.

 

[Thingybob]

The joke only works (as a joke) if you've worked in an office environment in which you can claim expenses for small items bought in connection with your job, such as those names of items used for burgers. It's said that 'there's no such thing as a free lunch', but there is if you can buy a burger and call it a 'mini whiteboard' and put an expense claim in for it. In some outfits, such stunts are fairly widespread and considered fair game. Some would say that it's 'biting the hand that feeds you'. (It's not something I'd countenance of engage in. It might sound haughty, but the price of my hour is rather higher than the price of a burger).

I spent my career in what is now a privatised industry, hidebound with red tape. As a middle manager back in the 70s when calculators had been quite expensive, they were treated as 'capital' not 'revenue', so a 'Capital Expenditure' business case had to be submitted and would have been declined. That remained the case when prices of calculators plummeted. If I needed to buy ten calculators for office personnel, I'd get a receipt for a ton of sand (a revenue item) and submit that instead of the receipt for the calculators, which would have bounced. It kept everyone happy.

Not dishonest - just 'creative accounting' to keep the wheels of industry turning.

I can see why the 'joke' is unfunny to anyone who hasn't worked in that sort of environment.

Not everything is funny to everyone. Thousands think that Michael Mcintyre is hilarious - I think he's a self-obsessed, strutting, preening peacock, so I don't watch him.

I did work in an office environment for many years as a works manager and the accountant would of wanted to see all the white boards ,head phones etc i had ammased over the year but you are right its an office type of humour that i could never understand i was more of a shopfloor joke person

 

[Jameshow]

This will teach them to come knocking!

 

[flying haggis]

So I went to the dentist.

He said 'Say Aaah.

' I said 'Why?'



He said 'My dog's died.''

 

[dzj]

 

[Doug B]

 

[MikeK]

View attachment 146232

This reminds me of the David Lee Roth version:

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull right alongside it."

 

[Kittyhawk]

This reminds me of the David Lee Roth version:

"Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull right alongside it."

And the two happiest days in a yachtsman's life : The day he buys it and the day he sells it.

 

[AES]

Guy I used to work with, a keen yachtsman, often said that yachting was like standing fully dressed under a cold shower tearing up ten pound notes.

(That was back in the days when a tenner was worth something).

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Robbo3]

Global warming effect.

 

[Jester129]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

And the two happiest days in a yachtsman's life : The day he buys it and the day he sells it.

Holes in the water to throw money in.

 

[Doug B]

 

[stuart little]

What's you view of John bishop?!

 

[stuart little]

View attachment 146246

Du-Du-du-du!

 

[Jameshow]

The previous poster gave a particularly robust critical analysis of another comedian so I thought I would ask about John Bishop!

 

[stuart little]

The previous poster gave a particularly robust critical analysis of another comedian so I thought I would ask about John Bishop!

That's 'cos I had no idea (like the blind caribou) who JB is.

 

[Thingybob]

That's 'cos I had no idea (like the blind caribou) who JB is.

Hes a scouse comedian