Joke Thread III
- Thread starter Sachakins
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flying haggis
Established Member
Doug B
Shy Tot
In the same vain so to speak.
Two nurses looking at my x-ray, one whispered to the other RIP apparently it's something to do with assessing the quality of the image, quite spoiled my morning.
woodhutt
Established Member
A nun is waiting at Heathrow for a flight to Aberdeen when she spots an 'I Tell Your Fortune' machine and decides to amuse herself. She drops a coin in the slot and the machine spits out a card which reads "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are waiting for a flight to Aberdeen."
She thinks 'This is remarkable but probably a fluke. I'll try it again.' drops another coin in the slot and reads the card the machine spits out which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are waiting for a flight to Aberdeen and you play the fiddle."
'Well that's ridiculous,' she thinks, 'I've never played a musical instrument in my life.'
Just then, another traveller carrying a violin case sits beside her and leaves it to go buy a coffee. Consumed with curiosity, she takes the violin from the case and tries to play it. To her amazement, she plays a beautiful rendition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons.
'That's amazing!' she thinks. 'I must try that machine again.'
The machine spits out another card which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are waiting for a flight to Aberdeen, you play the fiddle and you are about to fart."
'That's nonsense,' she thinks but sure enough, as she steps down from the machine, she breaks wind. She decides to try one more time and inserts another coin.
The machine spits out another card which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and due to your fiddling and farting about, you have missed your flight to Aberdeen."
She thinks 'This is remarkable but probably a fluke. I'll try it again.' drops another coin in the slot and reads the card the machine spits out which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are waiting for a flight to Aberdeen and you play the fiddle."
'Well that's ridiculous,' she thinks, 'I've never played a musical instrument in my life.'
Just then, another traveller carrying a violin case sits beside her and leaves it to go buy a coffee. Consumed with curiosity, she takes the violin from the case and tries to play it. To her amazement, she plays a beautiful rendition of Vivaldi's Four Seasons.
'That's amazing!' she thinks. 'I must try that machine again.'
The machine spits out another card which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and you are waiting for a flight to Aberdeen, you play the fiddle and you are about to fart."
'That's nonsense,' she thinks but sure enough, as she steps down from the machine, she breaks wind. She decides to try one more time and inserts another coin.
The machine spits out another card which reads, "You are a nun, you weigh 128 lbs and due to your fiddling and farting about, you have missed your flight to Aberdeen."
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
Politics is a complete joke nowadays - the only thing people have to complain about is that it's long since ceased to be funny..
Doug B
Shy Tot
stuart little
Established Member
Well yesterday was a 'Stuart' day, & then when I looked toddy, I saw it all, now I cain't get it outa my head!!
stuart little
Established Member
It's like the churches now, one big con!
(I guess that'll do some stirring)
PS. That's my joke for the day!
stuart little
Established Member
Hoe! Hoe! Hoe!
stuart little
Established Member
PhilTilson
Established Member
Well, presumably Amadeus calls Mozart to mind - but the music is the opening bars to the Flintstones theme!or is it me - can't read music?
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