Joke Thread II

[Jameshow]

 

[SamG340]

Now the historical car owners thread

 

[Thingybob]

May ,Hammond and Clarkson are guesting on the joke thread 2 next week that will be fun

 

[IZZY]

May ,Hammond and Clarkson are guesting on the joke thread 2 next week that will be fun

Wow what a result. Three jokes for the price of one.

 

[SamG340]

Wow what a result. Three jokes for the price of one.

I think the whole Richard hammond part was a bit of a car crash ...

 

[Pedronicus]

 

[OCtoolguy]

Weird green light on dashboard - huh?

I never knew they had those on a Beemer. I've NEVER seen them in use til now.

 

[OCtoolguy]

Having been a BMW Owner & Driver for 40+ years I can tell you Mr Moderator (In Germany) it is not generally accepted by other drivers here that BMW drivers are any worse at said "not using indicators turn signals" that any other make of car driver.

Here in the U.S. Porsche, BMW and Mercedes drivers have no idea what those little levers on the left of the steering column are for. They've never given them a try. And most of them are obnoxious anyway so there is that too.

 

[JimJay]

Here in the U.S. Porsche, BMW and Mercedes drivers have no idea what those little levers on the left of the steering column are for. They've never given them a try. And most of them are obnoxious anyway so there is that too.

To be fair, most drivers in the US don't know what clutch pedals and gear sticks are for either...

 

[Scruples]

You're correct - in most of Europe it's regarded as typical of people driving Mercedes, Porsche and Audi as well. It's unfair to pick on BMW drivers...


You're correct - in most of Europe it's regarded as typical of people driving Mercedes, Porsche and Audi as well. It's very unfair to pick on BMW drivers...

But, I have to speak as I find and I find less indicating going on with BMW drivers than with others on the road. When they do surprise me by indicating, it tends to be when they get the sequence wrong and end up indicating as they are already at the junction, or roundabout, so they, in fact, indicate their manoeuvre rather than the intention. Manoeuvre, indicate, mirror; the mirror being optional.

 

[Jester129]

Speed limits don't apply to Mercedes drivers......

 

[Oakay]

This car argument has ceased to be funny, but here's another one, BMW drivers seem to be pretty serious about their driving and easily offended. Can we even have a joke thread without upsetting people's feelings if there is a whiff of prejudice? Sorry, I should have added "some" BMW drivers... That's the problem I think, but what comedian ever started a sentence with the word "Some"?

 

[Doug B]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[JAW911]

Typical BMW driver ...

My wife and I both drive BMWs ……often wondered what the intermittent green flashing lights were for.

 

[stuart little]

You're correct - in most of Europe it's regarded as typical of people driving Mercedes, Porsche and Audi as well. It's unfair to pick on BMW drivers...


You're correct - in most of Europe it's regarded as typical of people driving Mercedes, Porsche and Audi as well. It's very unfair to pick on BMW drivers...

Looks like we're losing the thread again ffolks!

 

[stuart little]

May ,Hammond and Clarkson are guesting on the joke thread 2 next week that will be fun

I'll nip up the road & have words with Hamster!

 

[Alex H]

The Old Man And The Beaver

An 85-year-old man went to his doctor for his annual check up.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the 85-year-old replied "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child - so what do you think about that Doc ?"

The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began to tell a story.

"I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting and, in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.

"As he neared a lake , he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water's edge. He realized he'd left his gun at home and so he couldn't shoot the magnificent creature.

"Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favorite hunting rifle, and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead.

"Now, what do you think of that ?" asked the doctor.

The 85-year-old said "Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied , "My point exactly."

 

[SamG340]