Joke Thread III

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The most versatile tool in your kit is the one that you grab and throw across the room while yelling ‘Son of a B–ch’ at the top of your voice.
Right up to the point that tool you have in your at the time is your latest brand new Festool EQ Domino machine 😭😭😭😭😭
 
"meglinating" ? ..I'll have to stuart that
Lidl here currently have a special on an "Electric corded Pneumatic / Pneumatique Drill" .
There is no air involved..Standard hammer drill.
 
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A chicken farmer goes into a pub and sits at a stool next to an attractive woman. As the bartender comes forward they both ask for champagne, then turn and laugh.
'What a coincidence,' the woman smiles.
'Yes,' says the farmer. 'I'm celebrating.'
'What a coincidence,' says the woman. 'I'm celebrating too.'
The farmer asks her what she's celebrating and she tells him that she and her husband have been trying for a child for years and today her doctor told her she's pregnant.
'What a coincidence,' says the farmer. 'My chickens haven't produced anything for months but today every one of them laid eggs.'
The woman asks what had occurred to bring that about. 'Simple,' said the farmer. 'I got a new rooster.'
'What a coincidence,' said the woman.
 
The version I remember is a woman married to a much older man and her Dr is surprised when she becomes pregnant
 
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