Joke Thread III
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RobinBHM
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the parrot joke by Barry Cryer
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- 7 Aug 2003
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Hello Keith. Best in 42 pages.
Loved Barry, esp Hamish and Dougal.
Staying with him and our feathered friends:
You know about the guy who shot a golden eagle. He was in court in front of a magistrate.
The magistrate said: "This is a dreadful thing".
He said: "I never intended to. I was shooting pheasants and it flew into my line of fire."
The magistrate said, "Okay. Out of interest, what did you do with it?"
He said: "I ate it."
The magistrate said: "Good god, what did it taste like?"
He replied: "Rather like swan".
Loved Barry, esp Hamish and Dougal.
Staying with him and our feathered friends:
You know about the guy who shot a golden eagle. He was in court in front of a magistrate.
The magistrate said: "This is a dreadful thing".
He said: "I never intended to. I was shooting pheasants and it flew into my line of fire."
The magistrate said, "Okay. Out of interest, what did you do with it?"
He said: "I ate it."
The magistrate said: "Good god, what did it taste like?"
He replied: "Rather like swan".
flying haggis
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flying haggis
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flying haggis
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flying haggis
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llangatwgnedd
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stuart little
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stuart little
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Just like Wesley & Edie's house in Last of Summer Wine. 
Cozzer
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stuart little
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Never even considered one!Come on, Stuart....own up.
Which colour did you go for?
RobinBHM
Established Member
there are 30 cows in a field................
3.50s I'll never get back.
niemeyjt
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If Benny and Bjorn had been called Sid and Dave we'd have had ASDA years earlier.
Yorkieguy
Established Member
TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH!
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device – BOOK
BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected, or switched on. It’s easy to use. Even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.
BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with one of two different custom devices, a BINDER or DOUBLE STICH BINDING, which keep the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly to your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
BOOK never crashes nor requires rebooting. The “browse” function allows instant movement to any sheet, forward or backward, as one wishes. Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional ‘BOOKmark’ accessory allows you to open BOOK at the exact place you left it in the previous session – even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards, thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs of various manufacturers.
You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool - the: Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus. (‘PENCILS’).
Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to the medium. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Introducing the new Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device – BOOK
BOOK is a revolutionary breakthrough in technology; no wires, no electric circuits, no batteries, nothing to be connected, or switched on. It’s easy to use. Even a child can operate it.
Compact and portable, it can be used anywhere – even sitting in an armchair by the fire – yet it is powerful enough to hold as much information as a CD-ROM.
BOOK is constructed of sequentially numbered sheets of paper (recyclable), each capable of holding thousands of bits of information. The pages are locked together with one of two different custom devices, a BINDER or DOUBLE STICH BINDING, which keep the sheets in their correct sequence. Opaque Paper Technology (OPT) allows manufacturers to use both sides of the sheet, doubling the information density.
Each sheet is scanned optically, registering information directly to your brain. A flick of the finger takes you to the next sheet.
BOOK never crashes nor requires rebooting. The “browse” function allows instant movement to any sheet, forward or backward, as one wishes. Many come with an “index” feature, which pinpoints the exact location of any selected information for instant retrieval.
An optional ‘BOOKmark’ accessory allows you to open BOOK at the exact place you left it in the previous session – even if the BOOK has been closed. BOOKmarks fit universal design standards, thus, a single BOOKmark can be used in BOOKs of various manufacturers.
You can also make personal notes next to BOOK text entries with an optional programming tool - the: Portable Erasable Nib Cryptic Intercommunication Language Stylus. (‘PENCILS’).
Portable, durable, and affordable, BOOK is being hailed as a precursor of a new entertainment wave. BOOK’s appeal seems so certain that thousands of content creators have committed to the platform and investors are reportedly flocking to the medium. Look for a flood of new titles soon.
Got the set then?Never even considered one!
bushwhaker
Established Member
Can will be funny for someone?
From this morning Sky news.
No doubt stood there for five hours in his string vest and matching underpants on a snow covered mountain with temperatures at minus 10 degrees waiting to pounce.
Sounds about right Gwyneth.
No doubt stood there for five hours in his string vest and matching underpants on a snow covered mountain with temperatures at minus 10 degrees waiting to pounce.
Sounds about right Gwyneth.
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