Joke

[Blister]

A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "Excuse me. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line.
It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
As the lady bent down to pick up the card, she accidentally farted.
She was embarrassed by this but said nothing hoping no one noticed.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44.
How did you get to £58.50?"
He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

 

[lurker]

Not very funny [-(

But at least you didn't mention the irish :twisted:

 

[Tom K]

An Irish woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "Begorrah. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel at all at all?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line.
It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
"Fek you are good" She says.
As the lady bent down to pick up the card, she accidentally farted.
She was embarrassed by this but said nothing hoping no one noticed.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44.
How did you get to £58.50?"
He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

Is that any better?

 

[studders]

Apparently it's Racist and been reported as such

:roll:

(not by me I hasten to add).

 

[Smudger]

No, by me.

It is, and has no place on a public forum.

 

[Noel]

An English woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "I say young man. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel ?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line.
It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
"Goodness gracious me, you are talented young man" She says.
As the lady bent down to pick up the card, she accidentally farted.
She was embarrassed by this but said nothing hoping no one noticed.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44.
How did you get to £58.50?"
He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

Is that any better?

Anybody do Australian?

 

[Jake]

Maybe peace would break out if we made these jokes about Martians for the purpose of this forum - I hope we all accept that they do not exist (having said that, that's probably a rash assumption).

 

[Noel]

Maybe peace would break out if we made these jokes about Martians for the purpose of this forum - I hope we all accept that they do not exist (having said that, that's probably a rash assumption).

Wise up Jake, would you really see a Martian in Harrods of all places?

 

[Digit]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Roy.

 

[Tom K]

A Sheila goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.
She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter.
The Harrods salesman is standing there, wearing dark shades.
She says, "Gidday Cobber. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?"
He says, "Madam, I'm completely blind; but, if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound it makes."
She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway.
He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line.
It's a good all around combination, and it's on sale this week for £44."
She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter.
I'll take it!"
As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor.
"Oh, that sounds like a Visa card," he says.
"Strewth your fair dinkum mate" she says
As the lady bent down to pick up the card, she accidentally farted.
She was embarrassed by this but said nothing hoping no one noticed.
The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be £58.50 please."
The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me it was on sale for £44.
How did you get to £58.50?"
He replies, "Yes Madam, the rod and reel are £44, but the Duck Caller is £11 and the Fish Bait is £3.50."

My Daddy was from Cloyne and we lived in Kalamunda W.A as kids.

 

[RogerS]

Some people need to get a life or a sense of humour.

 

[Smudger]

Some people need to realise that offending other people for the sake of it is neither big nor clever.

 

[RogerS]

Well why don't you simply ignore any thread that has Joke in the title?

 

[studders]

There was this Bloke.... (a) not sure what nationality he was, or what race or colour as I didn't actually see him, I was told about him by another, third party.

Where was I ??? oh yeah...

There was this Bloke (a) right,
and he went into a Pub..... (b) not sure where the Pub was or even what Country it was in. Might not even have been a Pub at all.

So anyway...

There was this unknown Bloke (a) who went into an unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord (c) it might not have been Hello, it may have been some other greeting, in a different language entirely. I guess it just depends on where this Pub is exactly.
But, back to the joke.

There was this bloke (a) who went into a Pub (b)
"Hello" (c) said the Landlord (d) No details about the Landlord are available to me at this time.. ,
So to recap..

There was this unknown bloke (a)
Who went into an as yet unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord , about who we know nothing at this time.
"What can I get you?" (please bear point c in mind here)
"I'd like a large one please" said the bloke (a with c applicable) to the Landlord (d)
"Wouldn't we All? "(c) said the Landlord (d) to the bloke (a)

Oh.. how they all laughed.


It has just been pointed out to me that it might not have been a bloke (a) at all. Just as well really otherwise the joke may have come across as sexist.

 

[Smudger]

Why don't you simply stop offending people?

 

[studders]

You have evidence that people other than you were offended?

 

[Paul Chapman]

There was this Bloke.... (a) not sure what nationality he was, or what race or colour as I didn't actually see him, I was told about him by another, third party.

Where was I ??? oh yeah...

There was this Bloke (a) right,
and he went into a Pub..... (b) not sure where the Pub was or even what Country it was in. Might not even have been a Pub at all.

So anyway...

There was this unknown Bloke (a) who went into an unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord (c) it might not have been Hello, it may have been some other greeting, in a different language entirely. I guess it just depends on where this Pub is exactly.
But, back to the joke.

There was this bloke (a) who went into a Pub (b)
"Hello" (c) said the Landlord (d) No details about the Landlord are available to me at this time.. ,
So to recap..

There was this unknown bloke (a)
Who went into an as yet unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord , about who we know nothing at this time.
"What can I get you?" (please bear point c in mind here)
"I'd like a large one please" said the bloke (a with c applicable) to the Landlord (d)
"Wouldn't we All? "(c) said the Landlord (d) to the bloke (a)

Oh.. how they all laughed.


It has just been pointed out to me that it might not have been a bloke (a) at all. Just as well really otherwise the joke may have come across as sexist.

=D> =D> :lol:

 

[studders]

A woman goes into Harrods to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday.

This Joke is extremely Fishist. I may report it.

Mr Fish

 

[RogerS]

There was this Bloke.... (a) not sure what nationality he was, or what race or colour as I didn't actually see him, I was told about him by another, third party.

Where was I ??? oh yeah...

There was this Bloke (a) right,
and he went into a Pub..... (b) not sure where the Pub was or even what Country it was in. Might not even have been a Pub at all.

So anyway...

There was this unknown Bloke (a) who went into an unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord (c) it might not have been Hello, it may have been some other greeting, in a different language entirely. I guess it just depends on where this Pub is exactly.
But, back to the joke.

There was this bloke (a) who went into a Pub (b)
"Hello" (c) said the Landlord (d) No details about the Landlord are available to me at this time.. ,
So to recap..

There was this unknown bloke (a)
Who went into an as yet unknown Pub (b)
"Hello" said the Landlord , about who we know nothing at this time.
"What can I get you?" (please bear point c in mind here)
"I'd like a large one please" said the bloke (a with c applicable) to the Landlord (d)
"Wouldn't we All? "(c) said the Landlord (d) to the bloke (a)

Oh.. how they all laughed.


It has just been pointed out to me that it might not have been a bloke (a) at all. Just as well really otherwise the joke may have come across as sexist.

=D> =D> :lol:

ccasion5: ccasion5: \/

 

[Noel]

It was a bit elitist too. Why couldn't the person just go into Fishing Rods R Us?
In a street and town and country without a name of course.