Joke Thread III

[bushwhaker]

Abbreviations​

FIAT – Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Ford – Fix Or Repair Daily
Hyundai – Hope You Understand Nothing`s Driveable And Inexpensive
SAAB – Sad Attempt At Beauty
KIA – Killed In Assembly
Volvo – Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Buick – Big Ugly Indestuctible Car Killer
Dodge – Dead Old Dog Going East; Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
GM – Great Mistake

 

[ac427]

A nod's as good as a wink....

To a blind bat

 

[ac427]

I have a memory of Donald Rumsfeld saying it a few years ago. Could be wrong on name but definitely an american senator.

"This speaks to..." rather than references is another pleaser.

 

[ac427]

Unbelievable advertising.

View attachment 153452

Dr. Harold Shipman sorely missed by the Prison Boxing team for his killer jab.

 

[ac427]

You're clearly not a fan of Pork and The Havana Ducks

 

[Cozzer]

Not a joke as such, but a reflection on today's education?

In a well-known pet store branch, 45 minutes ago.
"That'll be 10 pound 65, then"
As I inserted the debit card, and to break up the silence, I heard myself say "Not 1066, then?"
"No. Ten sixtyfive."
I waited for the card to be recognised. "Battle of Hastings, wasn't it? 1066?"
"Yes. I think so...." It was obvious that he didn't r e a l l y think so....
I punched my four numbers in. "My mother-in-law was there at the time", I added.
"Really? Do you want a receipt?"

He genuinely hadn't a clue what I was talking about.

 

[mwinfrance]

You don't shop or post with your MIL around then eh ?

 

[Just4Fun]

Back in the mid 1980s I knew someone who started a B&B in Hastings. He charged £10.66 per person per night. I wonder how long that lasted until he had to raise his rate?

 

[Cozzer]

You don't shop or post with your MIL around then eh ?

Gone, aged 96, a good few years ago.
Mind you, if there was one person able to haunt.....

 

[frankendoodle65]

Not a joke as such, but a reflection on today's education?

In a well-known pet store branch, 45 minutes ago.
"That'll be 10 pound 65, then"
As I inserted the debit card, and to break up the silence, I heard myself say "Not 1066, then?"
"No. Ten sixtyfive."
I waited for the card to be recognised. "Battle of Hastings, wasn't it? 1066?"
"Yes. I think so...." It was obvious that he didn't r e a l l y think so....
I punched my four numbers in. "My mother-in-law was there at the time", I added.
"Really? Do you want a receipt?"

He genuinely hadn't a clue what I was talking about.

Have you ever worked in retail? Customers attempts at humour get pretty tiring so you learn to block out 99% of what anyone says to you! Sounds like he was trying not to engage in the hope you'd be gone sooner

 

[Jameshow]

Abbreviations​

FIAT – Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Ford – Fix Or Repair Daily
Hyundai – Hope You Understand Nothing`s Driveable And Inexpensive
SAAB – Sad Attempt At Beauty
KIA – Killed In Assembly
Volvo – Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Buick – Big Ugly Indestuctible Car Killer
Dodge – Dead Old Dog Going East; Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
GM – Great Mistake

https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/90101-automobile-acronyms/

 

[Ozi]

Abbreviations​

FIAT – Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Ford – Fix Or Repair Daily
Hyundai – Hope You Understand Nothing`s Driveable And Inexpensive
SAAB – Sad Attempt At Beauty
KIA – Killed In Assembly
Volvo – Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
Buick – Big Ugly Indestuctible Car Killer
Dodge – Dead Old Dog Going East; Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
GM – Great Mistake

Daewoo - Despair Awaits Everybody who Owns One
Lotus - Lodes Of Trouble Usually Serious

 

[mwinfrance]

Have you ever worked in retail? Customers attempts at humour get pretty tiring so you learn to block out 99% of what anyone says to you! Sounds like he was trying not to engage in the hope you'd be gone sooner

As someone who has owned a few retail shops and businesses in my time in more than one country, any customer who could make me laugh usually got a discount or a small freebie with their purchases. Brightened my days.

 

[dzj]

 

[Cozzer]

Have you ever worked in retail? Customers attempts at humour get pretty tiring so you learn to block out 99% of what anyone says to you! Sounds like he was trying not to engage in the hope you'd be gone sooner

Ah.
There's always one....

 

[stuart little]

To a blind bat

Or a blind man on a galloping horse.

 

[Fergie 307]

https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/90101-automobile-acronyms/

They missed Jeep, just empty every pocket.

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[dzj]

 

[Noel]

29-16