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Accountants are often not the best loved of colleagues in war or business - by repute it is they who after the battle go round and shoot the wounded.
 
An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scot walked into a bar. The barmen says, What is this, a f**king joke?

Two Paddys on duty at a checkpoint in South Lebanon are getting fierce abuse from a local. "Should I shoot him, sarge?" asks the young one. The other says "Nah, ignore him, he's just a gob Shi'ite"
 
Why do elephants paint their bxxxx[redacted] toenails red?
[ family friendly version]
So they can hide in cherry trees in the jungle.

Why do the animals leave the jungle at 5 o'clock?
Because that is when the elephants come down.

Why has the cobra got a flat head?
Because it cannot tell the time.
 
83A4A484-C91C-4D34-B109-5CB91BC35841.jpeg
 
Why do elephants paint their bxxxx[redacted] toenails red?
[ family friendly version]
So they can hide in cherry trees in the jungle.

Why do the animals leave the jungle at 5 o'clock?
Because that is when the elephants come down.

Why has the cobra got a flat head?
Because it cannot tell the time.

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

To hide in cherry trees in the jungle.

What's the loudest noise in the jungle?

Squirrels eating cherries.
 
Reminds me of the old joke:-

There are 3 kinds of Accountants ( Or QSs if you are in the building line)

Those who can add up

And those who can't.


Needless to say, this usually goes well over the head of Accountants!

Phi
Similarly;
There are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary arithmetic and those who don't.
 
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