John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
Why do women still put ping pong balls in their eyes? I thought that fashion had died out..
Joke Thread 4
- Thread starter Noel
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Alex H
Established Member
Alex H
Established Member
Jesus was worried about the drug epidemic plaguing the world.
He decided that a few disciples would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Three days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Very well son, come in.”
Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Mexico” “Very well son, come in.”
At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crystal meth from Los Angeles” “Very well son, come in.”
Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?”
“Freeze! This is the FBI!”
He decided that a few disciples would return to earth and fetch a sample of each drug, so they could understand what these substances did.
Three days after the operation is implemented, the disciples begin to return.
Jesus, waiting at the door, lets in each disciple: “Who is it?” “It’s Mark” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Mark?” “Marijuana from Colombia” “Very well son, come in.”
Another soft knock is heard. “Who is it?” “It’s Matthew” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Matthew?” “Cocaine from Mexico” “Very well son, come in.”
At the next knock Jesus asks, “Who is it?” “It’s John” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring John?” “Crystal meth from Los Angeles” “Very well son, come in.”
Someone starts pounding on the door. “Who is it?” “It’s Judas” Jesus opens the door. “What did you bring Judas?”
“Freeze! This is the FBI!”
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
DEA?
Scifli
Established Member
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
Tris
What am I doing here?
Politics- from the Latin word poli, meaning many, and tics which are bloodsucking creatures
(Robin Williams)
(Robin Williams)
The_Yellow_Ardvark
Established Member
Actually, the Latin for "many" is "multi"; "poli" is Greek....
Andy's Shed
Established Member
Alex H
Established Member
stuart little
Established Member
Got my keyboard sorted, I forgot it has batteries - DUH! Senior moment again! They lasted 4 years! As for the BT TV that's one foxtrot up after another, even their so called techie couldn't get it sorted. Instead of adding a new service, they've stopped what I had !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another rant over.Oh aye, what's 50p nowadays? Put it doqwn to a few weeks of frustrartion with BT trying,trying, trying to get my Tackage sorted, + a key board tkeeps missing lers, see awhat I mean!!!!
stuart little
Established Member
Yes I was.I think Stu was querying #1223 rather than #1241....
At least, I hope he was....
A very old Dennis Norden joke
A village chief had to leave the village for a few days, but was concerned that while he was away someone would steal his throne, because whoever had the throne was deemed to be the chief.
He pondered where he could hide it and came up with a brilliant solution, he would build a false ceiling in his grass hut and hide it up there.
Satisfied no one would find it he left the village.
When he returned he rushed into the hut to see if his throne was still there.
He quickly slammed the door behind him, the ceiling collapsed, the throne fell on to his head and killed him
The moral of this story is People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Alan.
A village chief had to leave the village for a few days, but was concerned that while he was away someone would steal his throne, because whoever had the throne was deemed to be the chief.
He pondered where he could hide it and came up with a brilliant solution, he would build a false ceiling in his grass hut and hide it up there.
Satisfied no one would find it he left the village.
When he returned he rushed into the hut to see if his throne was still there.
He quickly slammed the door behind him, the ceiling collapsed, the throne fell on to his head and killed him
The moral of this story is People who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
Alan.
Jaco
Established Member
Come on Stuart, lets keep to the joke thread.
What's the difference between an accountant and a computer?
The computer has a personality
What's the difference between an accountant and a computer?
The computer has a personality
stuart little
Established Member
That's what it is, Just one big JOKE!Come on Stuart, lets keep to the joke thread.
What's the difference between an accountant and a computer?
The computer has a personality
Got my keyboard sorted, I forgot it has batteries - DUH! Senior moment again! They lasted 4 years! As for the BT TV that's one foxtrot up after another, even their so called techie couldn't get it sorted. Instead of adding a new service, they've stopped what I had !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Another rant over.
Yorkieguy
Established Member
Hang in there Stuart - there's no show without Punch.
As Longfellow eloquently wrote:
Be still, sad heart! and cease repining;
Behind the clouds is the sun still shining;
Thy fate is the common fate of all,
Into each life some rain must fall,
Some days must be dark and dreary.
https://www.yourdailypoem.com/listpoem.jsp?poem_id=147
If you don't have rain, you don't get flowers!
Hope you have a better weekend.
David.
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