Joke Thread 4
- Thread starter Noel
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Bit concerned about the comma between Yes and Roger.
Robbo3
Established Member
I am concerned that from the given dates, Roger's lifespan was significantly shorter than expected.
Is there a significance to the fact that he died on Christmas day?
treeturner123
Established Member
Or that he was born 6969!!
stuart little
Established Member
The town of Hell is located in Norway, not a joke!?
stuart little
Established Member
A priest got up one morning to find his house surrounded by flood water, which was starting to come inside. He tried to block where it was entering, but to no prevail, when it got to the window, he went upstairs, but the water kept rising. Then he heard someone calling, looking out he saw a guy in a canoe; "Can I help you, Father?"
"It's alright, my son, The Lord will help me". Well, the water rose more until it was waist deep, when he heard an engine. A guy in a motorboat called out; "Can I help you, Father?" "No, my son, The lord will help me". Still the water rose, until it had reached his neck, then he heard a helicopter, then a voice over a loudspeaker asked; "Can we help you Father?". "No, The Lord will help me". The helo flew off & the priest drowned, & went to heaven. When he met The Lord, he asked; "Lord, why did you let me drown without helping me?"
"Well, my son, I sent you a canoe, a motorboat & a helicopter - what more did you want, a golden chariot?!"
Here endeth the lesson!
"It's alright, my son, The Lord will help me". Well, the water rose more until it was waist deep, when he heard an engine. A guy in a motorboat called out; "Can I help you, Father?" "No, my son, The lord will help me". Still the water rose, until it had reached his neck, then he heard a helicopter, then a voice over a loudspeaker asked; "Can we help you Father?". "No, The Lord will help me". The helo flew off & the priest drowned, & went to heaven. When he met The Lord, he asked; "Lord, why did you let me drown without helping me?"
"Well, my son, I sent you a canoe, a motorboat & a helicopter - what more did you want, a golden chariot?!"
Here endeth the lesson!
Cozzer
Established Member
Not a joke as such, but mildly amusing how today's media have to eke out every aspect of any emergency...live, but with a certain amount of air time to fill.
Take this morning's US bridge collapse, and the poor souls who may be in the water.
"We're told the water temperature this morning is likely to be 7 degrees. Just how cold is that, exactly?"
There was a slight pause before the expert who was being interviewed replied "It's 7 degrees..."
This time, a slight pause by the Beeb's interviewer, before her follow-up...
"And just how cold is that?"
Take this morning's US bridge collapse, and the poor souls who may be in the water.
"We're told the water temperature this morning is likely to be 7 degrees. Just how cold is that, exactly?"
There was a slight pause before the expert who was being interviewed replied "It's 7 degrees..."
This time, a slight pause by the Beeb's interviewer, before her follow-up...
"And just how cold is that?"
stuart little
Established Member
Shades of Brian Moore years ago being asked what he thought about England's chances in the World Cup - I don't know, there are too many imponderables. Can you tell us exactly what these imponderables are? No. Because they wouldn't be imponderables then, would they?
Why?
treeturner123
Established Member
I seem to remember Donald Rumsfeld being pilloried for the same thing when he stated that there were 'Unknown Unknowns!'
Look again...
That would be a good riposte - but only if "imponderable" meant what Mr Moore seemingly thought it did. An imponderable is something which is difficult/impossible to evaluate or assess; it has nothing to do with being able to say what the imponderable actually is or what is imponderable about it. One might go so far as to suggest that the tale handily encapsulates the definition: while Mr Moore's knowledge of the English language apparently existed, its extent was clearly an imponderable...
stuart little
Established Member
Oh deary, deary me - how unobservable I am!
If it were 7F they wouldn't have even got wet - the river would have frozen solid. It was actually 49F/9C..Uhh, 7° ! If 'C' - not too bad, if 'F' - king very very cold!!!!!!!!!!!!
Doug B
Shy Tot
kinverkid
Established Member
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