Joke Thread 4
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stuart little
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I know of one asking where Limey Reggis was, & were told it was where the 'Limeys' originated from.Did they ask where Wer-ces-ter College was as wellHow to mangle a dignified ancient language!!!
The favourite in places like Looe, Fowey etc. (usually from American tourists) is "why didn't they make the streets wide enough for cars and trucks?"
stuart little
Established Member
How d;you make thatout?
Alex H
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Doug B
Shy Tot
Kittyhawk
Established Member
Having had the dubious pleasure of having my ship stevedored by the Port Of Melbourne, I can assure that wee girl that there are indeed a lot of clowns in that organisation.
If you know what the screen character of the person was it would all fall into place.
Seems like your not the only one on an impossible mission maybe, because no one else has twigged.
While the side conversation jumped to people miss pronouncing names, Vanessa Feltz was mentioned
The person in the the original Mission impossible who was the boss and in the photp was Jim Phelps.
So Feltz and Felps.
Maybe I'm the only one to see the similarity in pronunciation or everyone that remembers it is dead or members are too young to remember the series.
Hope that helped.
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woodhutt
Established Member
wurglesnash357
Established Member
Three Aussie blokes working up on an outback mobile phone tower:
Mongrel, Coot, and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips falls off the tower, and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, pipper me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife. Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer. Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'
Mongrel, Coot, and Bluey. As they start their descent, Coot slips falls off the tower, and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bluey says, 'Well, pipper me, someone's gotta go and tell Coot's wife. Mongrel says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.'
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Beer. Bluey says, 'Where'd you get the grog, Mongrel?'
'Coot's wife gave it to me,' Mongrel replies.
'That's unbelievable, you told the Missus her husband was dead and she gave you a case of beer?'
'Well, not exactly', Mongrel says.
'When she answered the door, I said to her, "You must be Coot's widow."
She said, 'You must be mistaken. I'm not a widow.'
Then I said, 'I'll betcha a case of beer you are.'
Doug B
Shy Tot
Will I Live to see 80?
(Here's something to think about.) I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past Seventy Five).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said. She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?' 'No,' I said...
She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a schit?'
(Here's something to think about.) I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am past Seventy Five).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 80?' She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?' 'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?' 'I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?' 'No, I don't,' I said. She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?' 'No,' I said...
She looked at me and said, 'Then, why do you even give a schit?'
stuart little
Established Member
Yes, indeed. I was trying to connect Peter Graves, forgetting his character name! (Duh-h)
The_Yellow_Ardvark
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Doug B
Shy Tot
Alex H
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Doug B
Shy Tot
The_Yellow_Ardvark
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