Joke Thread 4

[Amateur]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Robbo3]

Think these have both been posted on here before.

Water on Mars

Water spout

 

[Amateur]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Jameshow]

Research shows that having too much sex leads to memory loss....

I read about it in the BMJ, February 2002 p78.…

 

[Amateur]

 

[Cozzer]

View attachment 163670

Icehole...

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

That one hasn't been posted since Wednesday.

 

[The_Yellow_Ardvark]

 

[dzj]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Keith Cocker]

View attachment 163674

Ho ho - what a laff.

 

[Stan]

Jean Harlow and Margot Fonteyn were crossing the Atlantic on a luxurious ocean liner. They spent a sunny afternoon in each other's company sitting in deck chairs, during which time Jean kept calling Margot "my dear Margott". After a while Margot became fed up of this, and when Jean said it once again she calmly replied,
"My dear Jean, the 't' in 'Margot' is silent, as in 'Harlow' "!

 

[bushwhaker]

We had a fight with my wife.
For conciliation she make me cake.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Jean Harlow and Margot Fonteyn were crossing the Atlantic on a luxurious ocean liner. They spent a sunny afternoon in each other's company sitting in deck chairs, during which time Jean kept calling Margot "my dear Margott". After a while Margot became fed up of this, and when Jean said it once again she calmly replied,
"My dear Jean, the 't' in 'Margot' is silent, as in 'Harlow' "!

'Say - aren't you Margot Asquith?' (pronouncing the hard 't')
[Margot Asquith] 'Yes Dear, But the 't' is silent, as in Harlow.”​

― Margot Asquith

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

'Say - aren't you Margot Asquith?' (pronouncing the hard 't')​

[Margot Asquith] 'Yes Dear, But the 't' is silent, as in Harlow.”​

― Margot Asquith

Doesn't that make it Margot Asqui?

 

[Amateur]

 

[gwaithcoed]

Not really a joke but something that happened today.
I am 86 and my wife 84 and we've been married for almost 66 years and thank goodness we haven't lost our sense of humour.

Today I had to go to the doctors for some painkillers and when I got back and was reading the instructions my wife said " since when have you ever read instructions about anything"

Jokingly I said " good God, it says in the possible side effects it could give me a massive erection "

Then quick as a flash she said " It's a good job that you are good at DIY, and No before you ask this is one project I won't I be giving you a hand with and I'll sleep in the spare room tonight" we both then fell about in a fit of laughter

Happy days Alan.