Oh yes he is!!.......

[woodbloke]

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away....

 

[Paul Chapman]

........Elf Woodbloke built Santa a jumbo plane so he could carry more presents to the children.........

 

[Travis Byrne]

.......but since he made the jet out of MDF, it was to heavy to get off the ground so he.........

 

[Paul Chapman]

.......Lord Elf of Charlesworth interrupted, "No you've got it all wrong. It's the effective pitch of the propeller that's the problem.".......

 

[CHJ]

That's what happens when you don't work to Rule and get the angle of attack wrong. Scarry sometimes but if you're Sharp things might still fly.

 

[Woodmagnet]

So he fitted a booster system,

 

[Slim]

... and powered into the night sky. His boosters soon ran out of fuel and he crash landed on....

 

[woodbloke]

...the 'dark side', a dismal place where the UKW force had all but disappeared. Now this was a land, perpetually cloaked in damp mdf dust, inhabited by transit driving folk like Scary Scrit, Dominatrix Dom and Alf, president of the local branch of the Amalgamated Society of Hand Tool Fettlers and Polishers, which met on the first Monday of every month and twice on Sunday. Scary Scrit and Dom the Dominatrix attended regularly, but there were other notable characters in attendance as well....

 

[Blister]

Gorden Brown , He thought it would be safer to attend this meeting rather than :-

 

[Paul Chapman]

........but he was wrong, and was boo-ed and hiss-ed off the stage.......

 

[Philly]

..Meanwhile, back at the North Pole.......

Philly :lol:

 

[CHJ]

What he really needed to get out of this 'friend to all men' forsaken place was a good quality VFD Drive and the use of some Spinney things technology.....

 

[Steve Maskery]

Fortunately he'd been able to negotiate a good discount (because of the heavy MDF design flaw) so he had a bit of dosh left over to buy desired spinney VFD thingy (whatever one of those is). So off he went to the cashpoint to withdraw some money.

"Hmm", said Santa, "what is my PIN number again? Ah, yes, I remember. It's 'oh-oh-oh-oh!"

So off he went to buy his new technology from...



(NB Joke nicked from last week's Now Show )

 

[Paul Chapman]

.........and while Santa was flirting with all this new technology, Rudolph was looking very sad ............

 

[Lord Nibbo]

.........and while Santa was flirting with all this new technology, Rudolph was looking very sad ............

What's wrong asked Santa?

My nose keeps falling off, replied Rudolph

I've tried using PVA but it won't work in this cold.

Ah! I know a bloke in Devon who has had a load of experiences trying to make boxes with old PVA that don't work** here's his phone number give him a ring, replied Santa.

** EX British Leyland Type :lol:

 

[Paul Chapman]

........well, said Santa, here's a packet of Hob Nobs and a cookie cutter. I've heard that biscuits are good for fitting on noses.........

 

[woodbloke]

"But hang on just a flamin' minute" exclaimed Rudolph..."last I heard this DW type was swanning around in the Land of Oz, 'tis a mighty long way to pull a sleigh with a fat bloke in it, just to get me hooter fixed" said a very grumpy reindeer...

 

[CHJ]

"Get with the program Rudolph, DWs' bin chirping about a cold workshop for some weeks now, he must be back in the cornish riviera, I'm sure you would sleep through the whole 12month if some fool did not start you up each mid December"
Edit: just get your act together and head south for a few hours with that load of goodies over there if you don't want to go round t'other side, I hear all they've got to look forward to this year is a visit by someone from Salisbury with a Penny Farthing fetish, some good that is going to be to them even if it is summer, and make sure there are no penguins in the the trunk this time, they still have a surplus from last years selection.