Joke thread

Help Support

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
Not open for further replies.
And on the lightbulb front, after the initial question, a member immediately posts a succinct exact easy way to do it, which is then filched and repeated several times as if the original poster hadn’t existed.
How many group posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs

1 to post the url with lightbulb changing instructions (

1 to point out that the link given in the previous post is, infact, incorrect for those in the UK, where bayonet fitting lamps are the norm

27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs

53 to flame the spell checkers

41 to correct spelling/grammar flames

1 Forum Moderator to point out the flaming is against the spirit of the Forum, PM all 723 contributors with the threat of expulsion if they continue in this fashion

6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ...

another 6 to condemn those 6 as anal-retentive

2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"

15 know-it-alls who claim *they* were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct

156 to email the participant's ISPs complaining that they are in violation of their "acceptable use policy"

109 to post that this group is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb group

203 to demand that cross posting to hardware forum, off-topic forum, and lightbulb group about changing light bulbs be stopped

111 to defend the posting to this group saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts *are* relevant to this group

306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty

27 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs

14 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's

3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group

33 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers and signatures, and add "Me too"

12 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy

19 to quote the "Me too's" to say "Me three"

4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ

44 to ask what is a "FAQ"

4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"

143 to say "do a Google search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs"

I to post 101 uses for a dead lightbulb

1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again....
Very good...

But I am sure there would also be a debate about whether bayonet was actually the norm as most light fittings are now made for E27 bulbs. Plus of course, a discussion of the merits of B22 and E27 :)
Uses for a dead lightbulb? GRP moulds for casting resin paperweights etc. - polish the bulb with mould release wax, grp over it, trim to the circumference, smash the the bulb and it'll fall out cleanly.
Cover bulb with multiple layers of Papier-mâché

When dry hit it off something to break the bulb inside.

Instant maracca.
Mum an dad are going up to bed as they pass little Tommy's room they hear him saying his prayers after he has done he says good night mum good night dad goodbye grandma .
On the morning the telephone rings it's dad's sister saying grandma has died in the night.
A few days later they hear him praying again after prayers he says good night mum good night dad goodby uncle Bill.
In the morning the telephone rings it's mum sister saying bill has died in his sleep.
A few days later
mum and dad hear little tommy praying again and listen carefully after he says goodnight mum goodbye dad .
Dad panics,, does not sleep a wink but in the morning he is still alive so breathes a sigh of relief goes downstairs opens the front door to find the milkman dead on the step...
Very good...

But I am sure there would also be a debate about whether bayonet was actually the norm as most light fittings are now made for E27 bulbs. Plus of course, a discussion of the merits of B22 and E27 :)

The debate would also be about replacing the terms "bayonet" and "screw". The first is too militaristic, and as for the second, well....
"All right, matey?"
"No, not really...but thanks for asking..."
"Why? What's up?"
"Just feeling a bit crook, actually....think I might have got a touch of alice...."
"Alice? Never 'eard of it! What's that, then?"
"Not sure how to describe it, except that Christopher Robin went down with it as well..."

Heard a couple yesterday that made me chuckle....

Never use Beef Stew as a password......... it's not Stroganoff

I went to a zoo the other day, such a rip off it only had one animal in it and that was a dog. It was a shitzu.

Not open for further replies.

Latest posts