Joke Thread 4

[Tris]

Don't be silly, there's a great big damn round the whole circumference (not the whole globe obviously!)

We must be on a flying saucer!

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Upside down frisbee. Unless the four elephants have pushed the middle through with all that weight on the circumference.

 

[stuart little]

Upside down frisbee. Unless the four elephants have pushed the middle through with all that weight on the circumference.

What 4 elephants?

 

[Frank House]

Upside down frisbee. Unless the four elephants have pushed the middle through with all that weight on the circumference.

Of course, since the fifth elephant broke free the pressure on the remaining ones would have increased beyond design tolerances.

 

[Cozzer]

The phone rang, so I pulled over on a side street and answered. It was one of those recorded message jobs, so it was quickly cut off and blocked.
All of a sudden there was a knock on the passenger door glass...
"Are you looking for business, lovey?"
She was quite attractive in a sullen sort of way. Life was obviously tough, and maybe circumstances had forced her to consider other forms of income....
"No, ta" I replied. "I was just taking a call...."
"Ok, lovey, that's what they all say. Let me give you a price run down anyway...."
She proceeded to give her rates for different services, finishing with the whole rumpy-pumpy costing £40...
"So there we are, lovey. You don't fancy full, exciting sex for a mere forty quid?"
I thought for a minute. I considered my own financial situation, and my family's continued wellbeing in these inflationary times.
"OK, my duck. Hop in. £40 it is.... I could do with the money....

 

[paulrbarnard]

What 4 elephants?

The ones stood on the back of the turtle. Isn’t everyone here aware of the cosmic structure of the universe?

Recent image from James Webb Telescope

 

[Vulcan]

 

[dzj]

 

[Scifli]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Robbo3]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Blackswanwood]

Remember lockdown

 

[Doug B]

 

[paulrbarnard]

View attachment 175533

It also kills your ability to do math. At nine minutes a beer that about 1 trillion pints.

 

[TRITON]

Upside down frisbee. Unless the four elephants have pushed the middle through with all that weight on the circumference.

Turtle shells are slippery, one could have slipped off, unbalancing the disc and all the water would have poured out.

 

[Doug B]

 

[Cozzer]

I'd read about folk "binge watching" stuff, so suggested that we should give it a whirl. My beloved agreed to try it for an evening, and watch some DVDs back-to-back....

I really enjoyed it, because I won the toss and got to face the TV....

 

[Amateur]

The phone rang, so I pulled over on a side street and answered. It was one of those recorded message jobs, so it was quickly cut off and blocked.
All of a sudden there was a knock on the passenger door glass...
"Are you looking for business, lovey?"
She was quite attractive in a sullen sort of way. Life was obviously tough, and maybe circumstances had forced her to consider other forms of income....
"No, ta" I replied. "I was just taking a call...."
"Ok, lovey, that's what they all say. Let me give you a price run down anyway...."
She proceeded to give her rates for different services, finishing with the whole rumpy-pumpy costing £40...
"So there we are, lovey. You don't fancy full, exciting sex for a mere forty quid?"
I thought for a minute. I considered my own financial situation, and my family's continued wellbeing in these inflationary times.
"OK, my duck. Hop in. £40 it is.... I could do with the money....

Love these thought out stories. Make a change.