Joke Thread 4

[Amateur]

I know it's a joke, but he didn't start out deaf, did he?

No. Sitting too close to the third violinist in the Orchestra did it.

 

[Amateur]

Happy New year.
Went for a walk with the wife this morning.
Extremely cold and I forgot to take my gloves.
"My hands are feezing"I told her
"Put them in your pockets" she said.
" Not what you suggested when we were courting?"
"What did I say then?"
You asked if Id like to stick them down the front of your nickers to get them warmed up"
"I did not, I'd never say anything as crude as that.
Funny how memories change with women.

 

[Alex H]

 

[flying haggis]

Happy New year.
Went for a walk with the wife this morning.
Extremely cold and I forgot to take my gloves.
"My hands are feezing"I told her
"Put them in your pockets" she said.
" Not what you suggested when we were courting?"
"What did I say then?"
You asked if Id like to stick them down the front of your nickers to get them warmed up"
"I did not, I'd never say anything as crude as that.
Funny how memories change with women.

What if your ears got cold....

 

[Doug B]

 

[Thingybob]

Someone got out of the wrong side of the bed this morning.

Yep and his bed is next to the wall

 

[Cordy]

When older people say, "Enjoy them while they are young."

They're talking about your knees & hips, not your kids.


Every time I get something stuck in my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a pint of lager.

It's known as the Heineken manoeuvre.

 

[flying haggis]

russian diy!!

 

[Doug B]

 

[Daniel2]

 

[flying haggis]

 

[stuart little]

Yep and his bed is next to the wall

OH,NO, it's not!

 

[Ozi]

It's behind me!

 

[TRITON]

? Course you can, it's common knowledge, but where's the joke in that?

Perhaps the joke is there but you just dont see it because you will admit, you dont get all of them now do you ?.
So keeping that thought in mind, the joke could be very very funny indeed. Could it not ?.

Similar to the "Why did the Chicken cross the road" *
Now, accepting that point would be a logical approach, so therefore the joke is funny.



* Incidentally, it was egged on.

 

[Daniel2]

 

[Tris]

Perhaps the joke is there but you just dont see it because you will admit, you dont get all of them now do you ?.
So keeping that thought in mind, the joke could be very very funny indeed. Could it not ?.

Similar to the "Why did the Chicken cross the road" *
Now, accepting that point would be a logical approach, so therefore the joke is funny.



* Incidentally, it was egged on.

That's a bad yolk,

And that was my poultry attempt at humour

Sorry,

I shell get my coat....

 

[Noel]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Alex H]

 

[RobinBHM]

I think you're confusing stupidity and socialism, although they do indeed have a lot in common.

Jacob will appreciate this comment