Free money!!

[bluezephyr]

Good Day My good friend,Let me start by introducing myself, I am Mr zanko ali , an ACCOUNTS OFFICER with an African Bank in Burkina-Faso of West Africa. I am writing you this letter based on the latest development at my bank which I will like to bring to your personal edification.($9million transfer claims ).This is a legitimate transaction and you will be paid 40% for your "Assistance".If you are interested, please write back for more explanation. Awaiting for your urgent reply(my is telephone number:00226 76768060) Please treat this business with utmost confidentiality and send me the Following information below here if you are intrested to do this business with me so that i will let you know what next to do for us to get this fund into your account as soon as.

Name....................
Address..............................
Occupation...........................
Age..................................
Phone no.............................
Passport no..........................
my email [email protected]

Thanks and regards zanko ali

Theyve been pulling scams like this for years now. I find it quite amusing some people think it might work seeings its one the oldest! This is actually the most uprofessional one ive ever had, I like to email them back to give them a bit of hope that theyve found a mug, Before sending a few choice words.

I wish i could give his number to the phonejacker

 

[joiner_sim]

ou should send the details to you r local ITV news station, I live in the central region and one of the reporters acted on this information someone gave them and he recorded the phone call to them and it was played on air, and raised awareness for those who are erm.... what shall we say..... stupid!?

 

[Waka]

In Nigeria this is known as a 419 scam, its surprising how many people fall for it, but then I guess thats greed.

 

[RogerM]

If you want a real laugh, read this. Absolutely hilarious.

 

[Ironballs]

Before I got caller preference I used to toy with cold callers and make them hang up. I berated one chap for his poor English and sentence construction; another I kept asking what he was selling and he kept insisting he was selling nothing, eventually he conceded it was telephony products of all things and another was kitchens, seeing as the woman was not reading my increasingly curt and irritated tone I agreed to her invitiation to book a visit, but I did ask as we were after a rustic kitchen with Aga and log fire, could they come dressed in smocks. She hung up.

Childish but fun

 

[Smudger]

If you don't already know it, have a look here

 

[Tom K]

This site provides the odd chuckle

http://www.ebolamonkeyman.com/

As to the pain in the butt cold caller / long distance satellite sellers and upgraders try this for fun:

First turn the phone to speaker so you can carry on with whatever you were doing when rudely interrupted

Allow them to trot out all of their script

Now doing your best impersonation of Trigger from Fools and Horses or Joe Pasquale say
"Tell me more" and allow them to carry on, you can occasionally change the phrase to " I......don't.....quite ...understand"
then you just keep it going as long as possible until they hang up in disgust.

Remember all the time you have them hanging they aren't being a pain to someone else :idea:

Our best one recently had a chap redoing his script syllable by syllable
until we said" I'll ask Mummy when she comes home".

Regards Tom

 

[andrewm]

And an interesting variation that I have just received.

Anti-Terrorist And Monitory Crime Division.
Federal Bureau Of Investigation.
J.Edgar.Hoover Building Washington Dc


Attn: Beneficiary,


This is to Officially inform you that it has come to our notice and we have thoroughly Investigated with the help of our Intelligence Monitoring Network System that you are having an illegal Transaction with Impostors claiming to be Prof. Charles C. Soludo of the Central Bank Of Nigeria, Mr. Patrick Aziza, Mr Frank Nweke, Dr. Philip Mogan, none officials of Oceanic Bank, Zenith Banks, Barr. Derrick Smith, kelvin Young of HSBC, Ben of FedEx, Ibrahim Sule,Larry Christopher, Dr. Usman Shamsuddeen, Dr. Philip Mogan, Puppy Scammers are impostors claiming to be the Federal Bureau Of Investigation. During our Investigation, we noticed that the reason why you have not received your payment is because you have not fulfilled your Financial Obligation given to you in respect of your Contract/Inheritance Payment.Therefore, we have contacted the Federal Ministry Of Finance on your behalf and they have brought a solution to your problem by cordinating your payment intotal USD$11,000.000.0
0 in an ATM CARD which you can us


Since the Federal Bureau of Investigation is involved in this transaction, you have to be rest assured for this is 100% risk free it is our duty to protect the American Citizens. All I want you to do is to contact the ATM CARD CENTER via email for their requirements to proceed and procure your Approval Slip on your behalf which will cost you $135.00 only and note that your Approval Slip which contains details of the agent who will process your transaction.


CONTACT INFORMATION
NAME: Mr. Morris William
EMAIL: [email protected]


Do contact Mr. Morris William of the ATM CARD CENTRE with your details:


FULL NAME:
HOME ADDRESS:
TELL:
CELL:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
BANK NAME:
AGE:


So your files would be updated after which he will send the payment information’s which you'll use in making payment of $135.00 via Western Union Money Transfer or Money Gram Transfer for the procurement of your Approval Slip after which the delivery of your ATM CARD will be effected to your designated home address without any further delay. We order you get back to this office after you have contacted the ATM SWIFT CARD CENTER and we do await your response so we can move on with our Investigation and make sure your ATM SWIFT CARD gets to you.


Thanks and hope to read from you soon.


ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR, FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535


Note: Do disregard any email you get from any impostors or offices claiming to be in possession of your ATM CARD, you are hereby advice only to be in contact with Mr. Morris William of the ATM CARD CENTRE who is the rightful person to deal with in regards to your ATM CARD PAYMENT and forward any emails you get from impostors to this office so we could act upon and commence investigation.

 

[Fecn]

Before I got caller preference I used to toy with cold callers and make them hang up. I berated one chap for his poor English and sentence construction; another I kept asking what he was selling and he kept insisting he was selling nothing, eventually he conceded it was telephony products of all things and another was kitchens, seeing as the woman was not reading my increasingly curt and irritated tone I agreed to her invitiation to book a visit, but I did ask as we were after a rustic kitchen with Aga and log fire, could they come dressed in smocks. She hung up.

Childish but fun

We have a fancy phone system in the office with hold music and voicemail boxes. We play a game called 'Salesmen racing'. When we get an obvious cold caller, we say 'He's just in the loo.. one minute please' and then we put them on hold and leave them there listening to our music. Using this technique alone, we discovered that most of them give up after 42 seconds. A couple of years ago we changed the rules of the game so that we could bring them back off hold to try and delay them some more... 'He's just walked back to the office... I'll put you through now'.. and then back onto hold.... 3 mins 32 secs on hold is the best we've managed so far.

Extremely childish and very good fun ... nearly as much fun as the 'prepaid mystery mail' game where you take credit card offers from two different companies... cut away any identifying marks... and then send them back in each other's envelopes.

 

[frugal]

If you want to have fun with phone telesales then you could always try the telemarketing counterscript: http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html. The aim is to get more information out of them than they get out of you. The end goal is to get them to tell you what brand of toothpaste they use and if possible their mobile phone number in case you need to get back to them later

 

[Digit]

I usually inform that that they've reached the 'Priory Home for the Aged and Infirm!'

Roy.

 

[Smudger]

If you want to have fun with phone telesales then you could always try the telemarketing counterscript: http://www.xs4all.nl/~egbg/counterscript.html. The aim is to get more information out of them than they get out of you. The end goal is to get them to tell you what brand of toothpaste they use and if possible their mobile phone number in case you need to get back to them later

That's superb!
Bookmarked, will be printed.

Subtler than my last one:

"My name is Steven, and I'm calling from British Gas."
"Hello Stephen, my name is Dick, and I'm EATING MY F*****ING DINNER!!!"

 

[devonwoody]

"no speaky inglish"

Works quite well at the door as well.

 

[kenf]

" Thank you for ringing the gay helpline. How can I be of assistance?"

works well also. You can have extremely short conversations, or interseting ones!!