Enoch

[Steve Maskery]

I've just used the "Online Chat" facility offered by NatWest.

Hello. You are chatting with Enoch.

Now don't get me wrong. He was perfectly helpful and gave me the info I needed, and did so in a professional and timely manner. So I gave him max marks on all the q's in the follow-up questionnaire.

But Enoch? Really?

I may be doing the guy an enormous disservice and if so I really am sorry. But I've had enough colleagues from far-flung corners of the globe whose names are so unfamiliar to us that we find them difficult, to know that they choose English-sounding names as a (supposedly easier for us) substitute. I have Chinese friends called Cindy and Ivan, for example. But Enoch? Has anyone been called Enoch in the last 2000 years? Where do they get these monickers from?

If he really was named Enoch I am going to feel so ashamed.

Steve. Perfectly normal name.

 

[RogerS]

Did he try and sell you rivers of blood?

 

[marcus]

A certain Mr Powell springs to mind....

 

[t8hants]

I get very fed up with these fake "English" style names, from unsolicited call centres

So my response is "Is that the name your parents gave you?" before they answer I get in, "Are you ashamed of your real name, why have you started this conversation with lie? I don't deal with companies that lie to me, goodbye!"

Gareth

 

[Steve Maskery]

Yes, I thought of Knocker afterwards. My point remains, though.
Gareth, I have a lot of sympathy with that attitude. I usually just say "No, it's not", and put the phone down, but here I was approaching them, not the other way round. It would have been rude, under the circumstances, I think.

Of course, when they interrupt me, it's not rude, it's just self-defence.

But as you say, what's wrong with being called Khemraj, or Xing-Ling? I don't understand.
S


S

 

[RogerS]

....
.Xing-Ling? .

Is he the brother of Mai-Dinga-Ling?

 

[Steve Maskery]

SHE was a colleague of mine. We have lost touch unfortunately.
S

 

[Phil Pascoe]

You might have misheard - it could have been Eunoch.

 

[Steve Maskery]

It was typed!!!
S

 

[Mike.S]

There's a distinct possibility that Enoch is his name - just google the name and you'll see several, including a footballer and footballer's brother.

My daughter's travelled to Africa a fair bit and encountered several 'old fashioned' British names and think of the number of West Indian's called Winston or Spencer.

Her favourite was a guy called Poly - short for Polycarp apparently.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

That reminds me of the old joke - A teacher to a class of young children "can anyone tell what Winston Churchill was famous for?" ....comes the answer - "he was the last white man to be called Winston, miss."

 

[Steve Maskery]

Yes, actually you may well be right.
I did once meet a guy whose name (real name) was Tuesday. Amd I was assured that he had a brother call Crankshaft. I am not making that up, honestly.
That's Zambia for you.
It's just that when faced with a picture of a callcentre lass with a Caucasian face, blonde hair and a big smile, you don't expect to talk to Enoch.
As I say. I'm quite prepared to hang my head in shame.
S

 

[Eric The Viking]

Enoch: Old Testament patriarch, who didn't die but was 'translated' (i.e. went directly to heaven). Brief mention in the New Testament because of his faithfulness. It's not an uncommon name in other Christian parts of the world. If the reports are true, Mr. Powell was named after a good man.

Mind you, if he was named Methuselah you'd never get him off the line!

E.

 

[Noel]

Meant to ask Steve, how do you feel about the kangaroo

 

[Steve Maskery]

Meant to ask Steve, how do you feel about the kangaroo

Sorry for him!

 

[Eric The Viking]

Steve,

You know I have enormous respect for your training skills, but even you couldn't teach a Kangaroo woodwork, surely?

Confused of Birstle.

 

[Steve Maskery]

Ah, it's our little secret, isn't it, Noel?

 

[WandrinAndy]

I get very fed up with these fake "English" style names, from unsolicited call centres. So my response is "Is that the name your parents gave you?" before they answer I get in, "Are you ashamed of your real name, why have you started this conversation with lie? I don't deal with companies that lie to me, goodbye!"

That's maybe a bit harsh, but then again you are talking about unsolicited calls....

Trouble is that stereotypically we Brits expect all of humanity to have a good grasp of our language; we whinge about unfamiliar (read foreign) accents; and we struggle with alternative pronunciation. Throwing foreign names into the mix frankly often takes matters beyond many of us.

All these poor souls "in the colonies" are trying to do is manage our very British inadequacies.

 

[Phil Pascoe]

I don't expect Johnie Foreigner to speak perfect English, however when giant firms lay off people in this country and then employ people who can't be understood when speaking English, it makes little sense, and annoys me. That being said , sometimes I can understand a Mumbai accent more easily than a Brummie, Scottish, Geordie, Scouse and a few more of the unintelligible ones.
That's my head above the parapet.

 

[Eric The Viking]

Let's be clear: off-shoring call centres is not done to give us better service. It's to boost company profits.

That said, I'm still haunted by the image of a kangaroo with a Waggleometer. It's hard to shake (ow!)

E.