Definitely MY kind of Doctor

[AES]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it..... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain.....good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well........ I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Malbec in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

ALSO......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. CLEARLY it’s speaking English that kills you!

AES

 

[MMUK]

:lol:

 

[Baldhead]

Brilliant =D> =D> =D>

Baldhead

 

[wellywood]

And just to reinforce the point...

 

[AES]

Pete:

If you believe the "gossip" on Radio 4, that's not all that Nigella smokes/drinks/eats!!!!!!!!

AES
:lol:

 

[wellywood]

Pete:

If you believe the "gossip" on Radio 4, that's not all that Nigella smokes/drinks/eats!!!!!!!!

AES
:lol:

We don't get Radio 4 this far out and besides I never listen to gossip :shock: :shock: :shock:
(Tell me more :wink: )

 

[AES]

Hullo Wellywood,

BBC Rad 4 is the only UK radio I can get over here (Switzerland). It's described as something like "the channel for intelligent speech" (or something similarly self-congratulatory!) but although IMHO it's not as good as it once was (he says taking off his rose-flavoured headphones), it's not too bad really - including the major news bulletins.

Anyway, to cut to the chase.

Nigella is/was married to someone called Saatchi who I thought was an advertising guru but these days is described as a millionaire art collector (perhaps he's both?). There have obviously been "marital difficulties" which apparently started off being publicised by pictures in one of the UK papers showing Mr. Saatchi gripping his wife around the throat outside a fashionable West End restaurant during a "marital discussion" one evening (!!!). It all went down hill from on there because, rich idiots that they both appear to be, one or other of them (I forget which) ended up taking a pair of Spanish sisters to court.

These sisters had been employed by Nigella as "PAs" come "housekeepers" and were accused of ripping off either Mr. or Mrs (I forget which) of "lottsa geld" which they'd been using to buy designer clothes, 1st Class airtickets, etc, etc. They were talking about substantial sums, niot a few quid.

The defence offered by the sisters was that Nigella had approved all of this spending in return for the sisters not tipping off her husband about her (Nigella's) weed and cocaine habit/s (and various other "shortcomings too if I remember correctly).

To be fair to the BBC, all this (and a lot more dirty washing too) was aired in open court and it ended up as an obvious sh1tfight between 2 "injured" parties in what was really a high-level marital dispute/divorce setup.

IMHO it really is not the sort of thing that needs to be reported at all, certainly not by an organistaion as "august" as the beeb, but as I say, it was all in open court (and I bet the UK papers made even more of a meal of it than BBC4 did - I don't know).

Anyway, I can't remember who "won" the case or not (not that I care anyway), it's just that the beeb was pumping it out all over the airways just a short while back, and your posting of those pix brought it all back to me - especially the bit about the drug habit lining up with my original (unhealthy) joke post.

That's it Wellywood ("A bit of No. 8 fencing wire n she'll be right mate").

Krgds
AES

 

[MMUK]

Pete:

If you believe the "gossip" on Radio 4, that's not all that Nigella smokes/drinks/eats!!!!!!!!

AES
:lol:

We don't get Radio 4 this far out and besides I never listen to gossip :shock: :shock: :shock:
(Tell me more :wink: )

http://www.vtr1000.org/phpBB3/images/smilies/smiley-*******.gif

:-"

 

[Benchwayze]

Nigella Lawson is not the first person to be 'convicted' whilst in the WITNESS box. :twisted:

The lawyers will have a good few swimming-pools, massive extensions, conservatories and BMWs out of that little episode. :evil:

I forgot to mention,

Errrmmm! #-o #-o #-o

 

[inaspin]

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it..... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain.....good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.

Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well........ I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:


Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - malbec in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"

ALSO......

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. CLEARLY it’s speaking English that kills you!


I love this it is so good to know that I have been doing everything correctly for all these years, and the Nigella Lawson V Gillian Mckeith comparison speaks volumes.

Berns