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Garno

Grumpy Old Git
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I will be launching a brand new business tomorrow, or next month, or the day after tomorrow, anyway it will be soon.

The idea stems from Slimmer's world and weight watchers but with a very slight difference, The business platform would be the same as in monthly subscriptions or discounted rates for a 3 month, 6 month, 9 month and a 12 month plan respectively.

The name of the business and the whole concept will be called "FAT WATCHERS WORLD" and this is how it will work,
Every week or once a week or every 7 days (not sure what one yet) the members will receive (via email) a random image, ranging from a cup cake all the way through to an extra large bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk.
Once a month, probably the 15th as that falls in most months, all of the members will receive an image (via email) of the cream cake of the month. The jury is still out as to if gateaux's are to be included in the cake of the month.
On the 7th (or 8th or 23rd) of every month all of the members will receive an image of (via email) a nice pudding with custard and finally on the 28th day of the month a random image of other really fattening stuff will be sent to all of the members (via email).

A private forum will be (or might be) made available for the members to offer each other that little bit of encouragement that is needed from time to time when your resolve falters a little.
For those times when your eyes have looked at that Aldi salad longer than 3 seconds or for the times when you buy a new tracksuit,
not for lounging about in but to actually do some exercise, pretend or otherwise.

At "FAT WATCHERS WORLD" we know just how hard it is to become a tubby,
my own personal battle lasted years, that's years of being skinny, or as the P.C types would say slim,
I always knew I was a fatty trapped inside a slim body I would awake each morning in tears trying to figure out how I could get away from eating salads and all the healthy food that are constantly being thrown at us by advertisers and celebrity chef's (We hate you Jamie Oliver).

Then it came to me, I had in my mind thought of a way to get fatter or more rotund, and I gave it a try.
It was soon apparent that I had succeeded where so many others have failed and over a 3 year period my weight had increased by a wonderful 417%, that's right 431% over such a short period.
With the help of "FAT WATCHERS WORLD" our members will strive for those weight increases and they may even gain some weight whilst being members.
We aim to take our members by the hand (not literally) through the veritable minefield of getting fat.
We shall show them the tips and tricks that I have learnt the hard way to reach their goals.

I have a team of dedicated fatties already working for me to make this business a success.
Actually I will have a team of fatties before I launch, they may not all be fat and may not be a team.
In fact I have not recruited anyone yet.
Recruitment is proving rather difficult if the truth be known.
All of the above will be free of charge to those members who pay a subscription at the following rates

Monthly subscription (A 5 year contract) ................................................ £58pm
3 monthly subscription (6 year contract) ................................................. £173.50
6 monthly subscription (7 year contract) .................................................. £346.00
9 monthly subscription (8 year contract) .................................................. £517.50
12 monthly subscription (9 year contract) ................................................ £574.25

I will also be offering 1 - 1 help for £50ph per member (10 sessions minimum per year per member required)
That will include video conferencing groups of no more than 25 members where we shall go over some fat facts and eat a few cream cakes and maybe a couple of chocolate bars, not bad for £65ph I'm sure you will agree, (member would need to provide own cakes and chocolate bars)
I will also be offering an email service direct to myself for about £15 per email (including invoices)

I just need to get a few things into place before I launch,
1) I need staff (preferably fatties like myself)
2) Website
3) Domain name
4) Someone to build my website for about £10 (how hard can building one be?)
5) Website hosting thing
6) Advertising.

I think most of that can be paid for by me either going on Dragons den and accepting any offer
or get someone to start a go fund me thing (Capt Tom got £30m)
I hope no one steals this business plan as many years work have gone into formulating it.
This time in the future I will be a millionaire 😜
 

Rorschach

Living on borrowed time
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You jest but fat studies is a university course now, aimed at promoting acceptance of being fat, I kid you not.
 

Garno

Grumpy Old Git
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You jest but fat studies is a university course now, aimed at promoting acceptance of being fat, I kid you not.
I fully accept I am fat or vastly overweight and it's not all down to my medication (although some is. I fully accept that some fat folk are that way because of it). My SIL is fat because of her medication.) The OP was obviously in jest but I would really like to lose about half of my weight, seeing a dietician in February to see what they can come up with.
 

Rorschach

Living on borrowed time
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I fully accept I am fat or vastly overweight and it's not all down to my medication (although some is. I fully accept that some fat folk are that way because of it). My SIL is fat because of her medication.) The OP was obviously in jest but I would really like to lose about half of my weight, seeing a dietician in February to see what they can come up with.
A family member is overweight due to a medical condition, losing weight is incredibly difficult and dangerous for her (she is trying though, carefully).
The fat studies courses though are trying to teach that being fat is normal and healthy for everyone which is very worrying. There are certainly a range of "natural" sizes among humans as well as medical problems. The fat studies people though are dangerous.

Best of luck with your weight loss.
 

Ollie78

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You jest but fat studies is a university course now, aimed at promoting acceptance of being fat, I kid you not.
My reaction to this was , no way, this cannot be true.

Then I remembered the world has, in fact gone mental.
I saw a story about a doctor who was being sued for calling (quite correctly) a patient morbidly obese. Presumably their feelings were hurt.
It has come to something when a trained medical professional is being sued for actively attempting to save, or at least prolong someones life and improve their health.
Its as if scientific facts are no longer allowed.

Ollie
 
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Peri

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Shropshire
Sign me up - I've lost nearly 3 stone since September (through unpleasant (not life threatening) illness) - I look like I've aged 15 years ! haha.
 
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