Coronavirus

[Cheshirechappie]

The wife just said we are nearly out of loo roll, should be an interesting shopping trip later.

As a fallback, have a think about which newspaper title you despise the most, and buy a copy. Torn into squares on a loop of string ....

(This might be an opportunity for The Sun to increase it's circulation figures in Liverpool.)

 

[ScaredyCat]

Things have got so bad that we've had to buy the peach coloured toilet paper...

.

 

[Cheshirechappie]

Things are getting really serious if you have to use both sides ...

 

[Lons]

We were in Costco this morning, not shopping for loo rolls but the scenes there were comical, there were 2 guys filling up a huge stack of bulk packs and as fast as they stacked them on people were taking them back off, not only that but off the pallet trucks as well. There were very few traders among them as you can normally tell by the trolleys used.
Woodworkers should do well when people realise they need to pay someone to build more storage to house the damn things.

 

[AES]

I don't get it. What's the thing with toilet rolls particularly? I can understand hand sterilser, but WHY toilet rolls?

 

[RogerS]

I don't get it. What's the thing with toilet rolls particularly? I can understand hand sterilser, but WHY toilet rolls?

Because they are stupid.

 

[Trevanion]

Catch it, Bin it, Kill it!

Selling them by the boatload! Everyone laughed when I came up with the idea...

 

[Droogs]

pmsl, You are sooo lucky I had to put my Tea down to scoll down to the image Trevanoin cause my missus would've made you get a me a new one

 

[Lons]

can see a refinement to that. An elastic band holding it on the nose turns it into a face mask, tear off and dispose after a sneeze, et voila!

 

[Trevanion]

No funny business...

 

[Lons]

What about a dual version ( one for the nose end and one for ... the other. :wink: ) Or a quad version.
You could use an auto holder maybe adapt to shoot out at sneeze detection.

Jumbo rolls for those with a big hooter? Better get a few more patents lodged.

 

[AES]

IMO, you blokes are missing a trick. These ideas all use toilet rolls which are in short supply in UK, it seems. But nothing said about kitchen rolls.

SO. We need a special jig to cut kitchen rolls into 3 smaller lengths, cross cut of course, so purists will want to use a special cross cut blade on the table saw. Add a couple of specially-curved pushed sticks (there's another patent there, along with the kitchen roll holder jig) and there's a fortune just waiting to be made.

As I don't own a table saw I'll leave the experts to sort out the finer details and just take a simple royalty on every one sold.

 

[Geoff_S]

IMO, you blokes are missing a trick. These ideas all use toilet rolls which are in short supply in UK, it seems. But nothing said about kitchen rolls.

SO. We need a special jig to cut kitchen rolls into 3 smaller lengths, cross cut of course, so purists will want to use a special cross cut blade on the table saw. Add a couple of specially-curved pushed sticks (there's another patent there, along with the kitchen roll holder jig) and there's a fortune just waiting to be made.

As I don't own a table saw I'll leave the experts to sort out the finer details and just take a simple royalty on every one sold.

Ahh, but you see there are cleverer people out there that have bought all the kitchen roll already!

 

[AES]

Oh dear! You mean I'm too late with my brilliance AGAIN?

 

[Richard_C]

I see an Australian newspaper printed perforations on 4 otherwise blank pages inside one edition. Excellent.


Meanwhile, how woodworkers and diy-ers can help others:

Find some wood, ideally about 3x 1/2 and 4 long, no need to be precise, mdf is fine, off cuts, painted, scrap... anything. Mark the centre, drive the biggest nail you can find through and you have an instant ersatz toilet paper holder to put on top of the cistern. Make many and donate to friends. If you are a professional woodworker, stick on a fancy label and sell to people.

 

[Trainee neophyte]

Those among us with military experience will know that you only need four sheets of lavatory paper - one up, one down, one across and one polish. Actually, that's three sheets of paper and a bloke from Poland. Do you think he will mind?

 

[Bm101]

Talking of meeting Europeans in strange situations....
I saw a man on my road the other day in a tracksuit carrying a long metal pole.
Intrigued, I asked him.
'Are you a pole vaulter?'

'No' he said looking baffled. 'I am German. But how do you know my name is Walther?'

 

[AES]

Ohhhhhhh Ber-Limey Bm101! AWFUL (but great). =D>

 

[Trainee neophyte]

Talking of meeting Europeans in strange situations....
I saw a man on my road the other day in a tracksuit carrying a long metal pole.
Intrigued, I asked him.
'Are you a pole vaulter?'

'No' he said looking baffled. 'I am German. But how do you know my name is Walther?'

 

[AES]

Fer goodness sake DO NOT encourage 'Im "T n", it'll only get worse