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Robin Hood was dying. He lay in his bed surrounded by his aging Merry Men and a rather wrinkly Maid Marion. 'Bring me my bow,' he said in a whisper. They brought it to him. 'Whither this arrow falleth, there shall I be buried.' 'Right O' they said. He shakily drew back the bowstring, let fly the...

Had our winter wood delivered yesterday and found this. It's a black tunnel web (not to be confused with the nasty Aussie funnel web). I could see it was dead, but this didn't stop SWMBO poking it with a stick despite warnings that, if was still alive, it might grab the stick and give her a...

Still makes me laugh. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbBx4Ql6Umo

I'm building a workbench for my 16 yr old grandson based on the Bosch bench plan found on the forum. As I'm not certain how long his enthusiasm will last, I decided to use materials to hand which were left over from some honeydew projects ('Honey do this, Honey do that...'). So, the frame is...

I'm building a workbench for my 15 yr old grandson. It's based on the Bosch Workbench plans found on the forum. My question is, the plans call for the two long stretchers that run between the front legs (same for the rear legs) to be through M&T joints, glued but then with wedges driven in on...

A husband and wife go on a cruise. She's a large, loud and domineering woman. He's a short, quiet, bespectacled type. First night at sea after dinner, the women excuse themselves and the men gather round the bar telling stories. When it comes to his turn, the little bloke regales them with a...

Can anyone i.d. a plane iron manufacturer for me please? All I can make out is 'ALEX . (?)M (obliterated) IESON & SON' It's from an old wooden bench plane I'm refurbishing.

Tried working in the 'shop today. Had to move outside as it was 30 C inside but only 28 C outside in the shade. SWMBO wanted me to put the Christmas decorations back in the attic until I pointed out to her that the heat recovery system controller showed it was 53 C up there (standard Kiwi iron...

Hope I get away with this... A golf pro walks out of the clubhouse one fine morning and spots a young bloke just about to tee-off. The pro, feeling generous, asks the youngster if he'd like him to go round with him and the youngster agrees. Round they go and the young feller beats the pro...

Anyone any experience of Reverse Mortgages?

After winding-up a business and being just short of pension age, I needed something to fund my woodworking addiction. I spotted an ad for a meter reader for a local power company who wanted someone to read 'remote' meters. Now armed with a 4WD and go-anywhere keys I get to go places Joe Public...

I'm in the middle of a project which I will post as a WIP. I'm using two contrasting woods, Kwila and American Ash. I'm happy that any finish will tend to darken the kwila (for greater contrast) but want to keep the ash as white as possible and avoid as much yellowing as possible. The finished...

Fred was a heavy drinker until his wife eventually put the hard word on him and he went on the wagon. One day Fred's wife announced she was going out for the evening with her girlfriends and would be late getting home. When she left that evening, Fred seized his chance. 'One or two little...

It's time for a new hand-held router and my local tool shop is selling Arges routers at a very reasonable price. They are made by a company called HongDa so obviously Chinese or thereabouts. Never heard of them before. Has anyone had any experience of this brand?

'I think it's disgusting the way everyone has treated Lance Armstrong for winning seven Tour de France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike...' Willie Nelson

I'm planning a cutlery box for my son and his fiance who are getting married next Feb. I want to inlay two entwined rings on the box front and this will be a first for me. I've considered routing the circles using a guide collar and inlaying thin brass but then I thought of using gold leaf. If I...

The sound of church bells will always remind me of my grandparents. When my grandfather died quite suddenly, I went to see my grandmother and asked her what had happened. 'Oh,' she said. 'We were making love and his heart just gave out.' I said how dangerous it was for people of their advanced...

I want to clean some old door hinges which are covered in about 25 years worth of paint. I can strip them but wonder how to stop the metal from 'blooming' with rust afterwards. Any advise on what can I use to treat them after stripping?

A group of bikers were out for a ride when they came across a road block on an overbridge. The police were trying to talk down a young woman threatening to jump. Seeing his chance to make a name for himself with the gang, the bikers leader pushes his way through the crowds and says to the girl...

The power went off this morning. No power tools, no TV, no PC, DVD or surround sound music system. On top of that the iPhone battery was flat and no power for the modem so no internet connection via the laptop. Went to the kitchen to make a coffee - doh! No power, no coffee! So I went into the...