wellywood
Established Member
Fred was a heavy drinker until his wife eventually put the hard word on him and he went on the wagon.
One day Fred's wife announced she was going out for the evening with her girlfriends and would be late getting home.
When she left that evening, Fred seized his chance. 'One or two little drinks won't hurt,' he thought and so he set off for the nearest pub a few hundred metres down the road.
Well, one or two led to three or four then a few more until Fred was well and truly pickled. He manged to peer at his watch and thought, 'If I leave now, I'll just make it home before the wife.'
He stood up and promptly fell flat on his face. He tried to get up again with the same result. Fearing his wife's wrath, he set off to drag himself home. He finally crawled home exhausted and scratched with his clothes in tatters but managed to drag himself into bed where he promptly passed out.
Next morning he was shaken awake by his wife who accused him of having got drunk the night before.
'And don't try to deny it!' she shouted. 'The pub's just called to say you left your wheelchair there again.'
One day Fred's wife announced she was going out for the evening with her girlfriends and would be late getting home.
When she left that evening, Fred seized his chance. 'One or two little drinks won't hurt,' he thought and so he set off for the nearest pub a few hundred metres down the road.
Well, one or two led to three or four then a few more until Fred was well and truly pickled. He manged to peer at his watch and thought, 'If I leave now, I'll just make it home before the wife.'
He stood up and promptly fell flat on his face. He tried to get up again with the same result. Fearing his wife's wrath, he set off to drag himself home. He finally crawled home exhausted and scratched with his clothes in tatters but managed to drag himself into bed where he promptly passed out.
Next morning he was shaken awake by his wife who accused him of having got drunk the night before.
'And don't try to deny it!' she shouted. 'The pub's just called to say you left your wheelchair there again.'
