Hidden depths

[wellywood]

A husband and wife go on a cruise. She's a large, loud and domineering woman. He's a short, quiet, bespectacled type.

First night at sea after dinner, the women excuse themselves and the men gather round the bar telling stories. When it comes to his turn, the little bloke regales them with a talk on sex that has them rolling in the aisles. When he gets back late to the cabin his wife demands to know what he's been up to and thinking quickly, he tells her he delivered a talk on sailing.
'Sailing!' she sneers. 'What on earth do you know about sailing?'

Next morning at breakfast, a bloke at the next table turns to the little feller's wife and tells her what a marvelous raconteur her husband is.

'Well. It surprises me,' says the wife. 'He's only ever done it twice. The first time he was sick and the second time his hat blew off.'

 

[blackrodd]

Very good, thank you.
Rodders

 

[Robbo3]

Different version.

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life!, between the legs of me wife!"

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the Best toast of the night"

She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?" John said,
"Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.
You know, he's only been there twice in the last four years. Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

 

[wellywood]

See! Told you there were only about seven jokes and the rest are just variations.

 

[AES]

Yeah, but good ones.

Anybody remember the text of the joke where the punch line runs ....

QUOTE: "And what did you do next?" asked the Judge.
I turned to my mate and said "What a helluva way to run a railroad"! UNQUOTE:

AES