Ummm. How do you deal with this one?

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Tom K":3ijum34h said:
As an aside do you remember school toilet paper? Like wiping your arsch on bit of greaseproof paper :shock:

I went to a junior school where the toilets were in the school yard miles away from the school :lol: The toilet paper was kept in a holder outside the headmaster's room and you had to knock on the door and ask for the toiler paper. He begrudgingly gave you two sheets :roll: Times were 'ard in them days (hammer)

Regards Keith
 
All this talk about toilet paper is getting too much. I was watching an astronomy programme the other night and the presenter asked his guest "Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?" #-o
 
doorframe":3e6zj0ls said:
All this talk about toilet paper is getting too much. I was watching an astronomy programme the other night and the presenter asked his guest "Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?" #-o

:lol: :lol: :lol:

There are a few people on here taking the p*ss (excuse the pun). Wonder if the op has had a word in the lads' lughole? :wink:
 
Tom K":28dn5666 said:
As an aside do you remember school toilet paper? Like wiping your arsch on bit of greaseproof paper :shock:

Best description that I heard was "like trying to mop up coffee with a record sleeve"........
 
I'd just take him aside and say it. Job done. Get it over with.
'Do me a favour son, wash your hands when you've been to the toilet. We all need to watch our hygiene around food and so on. There's a good lad' Then move on to something else like it never happened. He knows hes been told. He respects you for moving on and not making an issue of it.
10 seconds he'll be embarrassed and then he'll do it.
Don't forget.
Dad Power.
He's a young lad. We all need to learn sometimes. And sometimes we learn by being told. My house. That ain't acceptable. But do it the right way and he'll respect you for it.
 
DrPhill":8rwe1lh0 said:
Tom K":8rwe1lh0 said:
As an aside do you remember school toilet paper? Like wiping your arsch on bit of greaseproof paper :shock:

Best description that I heard was "like trying to mop up coffee with a record sleeve"........

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The locals around don't even use paper ..... no wonder they filmed The Wicker Man here lol some strange goings on and its more like a documentary than a fictional movie 9-)
As for the boyfriend just stick a notice up in the bathroom to remind him and if he doesn't improve...... don't eat any sandwiches he prepares
 
Jonzjob":nhwk5cau said:
Another thought for all the ranting?

How many of you actually use a bidet after a no2??

How many just spread it all around with a bit of toilet paper and then go about ranting at folk who don't wash their hands??

I often heard the 2 theories on washing after a pee. One was that you should always wash them after and the second was you shouldn't pee on them in the first place :mrgreen: The first was often used by our IBM salesmen and the other was by us IBM hardware service engineers :twisted:

As I've had a quite acerbic /rant about this I'll say my method of dealing with the necessary - I use toilet paper, then a couple of wetwipes designed for babies, wash my hands with antibacterial (carex etc) then a squidge of the alcohol based gel you get in hospitals. It doesn't take that much longer, and I'm confident I'm 99% safe when eating my sandwiches etc and it's 1 less person passing their germs around.

Even if you shower everyday your groin is still a place for bacteria to grow and there's nothing nice nor acceptable about spreading around your betty swallocks.
 
What happens if you get took short somewhere and have to take a leak by the hedge?
 
Happened to me on holiday in Austria once. We went with a walking party in the forest. We were supposed to be skiing no idea why we went walking. My darling ex wife had packed only fruit in our lunch!! It went straight through me and I had to go....we were in a young part of the forest and the only hiding place was a narrow tree, my only paper was my underpants......embarrassed? Noooooooo. It was 25 years ago and I still cringe at the thought. And no I didn't wash my hands until we got back.
 
Interestingly, in some parts of the world it is better to wash a wound in urine (fresh from the spiggot) than it is to wash the wound in water. IIRC, barring a urinary tract infection urine is sterile. It has just been biologically microfiltered.

What lives on Betty Swallocks (or Mary Hinge come to that) is another matter entirely.
 
I have always struggled to get in touch with my inner self....... until today.

That's the last time I buy Tesco Value toilet roll (hammer)
 
Sounds like you had a bit of a breakthrough :)

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