Sharpening! by the BeeGees - sort of...

[Alf]

Heck, but I must be bored. Anyway, to the tune of "Tragedy" by the falsetto-voiced ones:

Here I plane
In a cramped and chilly garden shed
Held the work
In a face vice that is wracked to death
Gotta hone
I just can’t make it cut no more
I really should be grinding it
Honing it
Stropping it, stropping it

Sharpening
When the work’s not done but the edge has gone
It’s sharpening
When the waterstone dries and you start to cry
It’s hard to care
With no guide to help you your edge just ain’t square
Sharpening
When you lose control and you got to hone
It’s sharpening
When the bevel’s up but you’re out of luck
It’s hard to square
With stones that won’t flatten
Despite all your care

Sand or scrape
There’s a burr that needs be turned you see
Higher pitch
Stop tear-out that is killing me
Woe is me
I just can’t sand it all alone
I really should be planing it
Honing it
Smoothing it, smoothing it

Sharpening
When the wood’s not done but the edge has gone
It’s sharpening
When the diamond dries and the oil stone flies
It’s hard to bear
When the Arkansas shatters
‘spite minimal wear
Sharpening
When you lose control and you got to hone
It’s sharpening
When the bevel folds and the edge won’t hold
It’s hard to care
With no guide to help you
Your edge won’t stay square.

Repeat ad nauseum

Now working on "I'm Still Sanding" for Philly... :lol:

Cheers, Alf

 

[Adam]

Heck, but I must be bored.

Heebee geebies, send me your address and I'll send you some chisels to sharpen, planes to flatten. :lol:

Adam

 

[Philly]

Bravo, Alf! =D>
You definitely have too much time on your hands! :wink:
Philly

 

[Steve Maskery]

Now working on "I'm Still Sanding" for Philly... :lol:

How about:

The Wurzels singing, "I've got a brand new plane from Veritas",
Tammy Wynette, "Stand by your bench"
Bernard Cribbins, "You can't drill there, drill it elsewhere"
Eliza Dolittle, "All I want is a brand new saw (Wooden it be loverly)"
Elvis, "Return to Felder"

This is getting to be a bit Humph-ish, a la ISIHAC, dontcha think?
Cheers
Steve

Ever helpful, Steve

 

[Howjoe]

Brilliant, Alf!

I found myself actually reading it aloud in the 'tradgedy' way..... 'tis OK, no one is home yet!

Cheers

Howard

 

[Waka]

Deffinately needs to get woody life

 

[martyn2]

now we see what Mdf dust dose to you either that or wax lyrical

martyn

 

[dedee]

Doesn't Philly play guitar in a band .... Xmas No1 perhaps :lol: :lol:

Andy

 

[frank]

alf why not go in for the x factor simon & co would love you :roll: :roll: :roll: :twisted:

frank

slippin an a slidin (on that slope)