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My retirement job


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Established Member
8 Nov 2011
Reaction score
Sunny South Wales
My One day of employment

After landing my new job as a B & Q greeter - a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ......

About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into the store with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

As I had been instructed, I said, pleasantly, "Good morning and welcome to B & Q."

I then said, "Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no, they ain't twins. The oldest one's 9, and the other one's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

I replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid, Madam. I just couldn't believe someone sh****d you twice.... Have a good day and thank you for shopping at B & Q."

My supervisor said I probably wasn't cut out for this line of work.