Joke thread

[Jameshow]

I'll start areas of wales is 20,735 km²

Area if a football pitch 0.006868km2
101 X 68m (anfield)

3019073.966 pitches in Wales

May not be correct????

Cheers James

 

[Inspector]

Your football/American NFL/our CFL football fields. All different and I don't watch or play any so have no idea how long a Led Zeppelin album is.
Oh and I didn't get that joke either.

Carry on.

Pete

 

[Inspector]

I'll start areas of wakes is 20,735 km²

Someone can do the maths!

Cheers James

"wakes"? Good at the math but just got a pass in spelling.

Pete

 

[AES]

"wakes"? Good at the math but just got a pass in spelling.

Pete

Nah Pete, it's what their mates do when there's a death in the (I think) pod!

 

[Jameshow]

Funny that 2 of my kids have been recently diagnosed with dyslexia so chances are I have it, my wife says it's a waste of money to get tested, tbh I'd refer a decent cast iron table saw!!

Cheers James

 

[TRITON]

...or, the well-known one, of course, courtesy of Messrs.Microsoft...

"If your keyboard's not working, press F1 to continue" (or words to that effect...)

There used to be a question on the unemployment benefit claim form

Q. "Are you blind"
They eventually changed it to 'is the person you are claiming for blind'.

 

[J-G]

But what really INFURIATES me is people saying/writing "very unique"

Ditto !

... and I did say that there were 'Limits' specified (football pitch)

 

[Frank House]

"wakes"? Good at the math but just got a pass in spelling.

Pete

Reg Standards Bureau :
The Reg online standards converter

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Ditto !

And "almost exactly".

 

[Morty]

The land area of Wales (key word "area") quoted above is incorrect when calculating football pitches because no allowance is made for mountains, hills and any undulations, I have not included ponds, lakes, lochs, rivers, etc. as no one plays underwater football. Therefore impossible to be even close to accurate as the actual land area usable for football pitches in any country in unknown

 

[Phil Pascoe]

No one plays underwater football? How do you know?

 

[paulrbarnard]

No one plays underwater football? How do you know?

Of course they do. Underwater football - Wikipedia

 

[WoodchipWilbur]

The land area of Wales (key word "area") quoted above is incorrect when calculating football pitches because no allowance is made for mountains, hills and any undulations, I have not included ponds, lakes, lochs, rivers, etc. as no one plays underwater football. Therefore impossible to be even close to accurate as the actual land area usable for football pitches in any country in unknown

Most of Wales is flat.

Sadly, quite a lot of it is also vertical...

 

[Tony51]

Two Wales make a Belgium
Tony

 

[Ozi]

No apology needed - incorrect - even poor - information should be pointed out whenever it is noticed

How many readers have been enlightened by the knowledge you've brought to the fore?

To be clear, I can't abide football - the next match I go to will be the first (I'll be 80 in December)

See you there - I may be late

 

[Phil Pascoe]

If I never go to football match it'll be too soon.

 

[Daniel2]

 

[Morty]

Of course they do. Underwater football - Wikipedia

How can it be called "football" when it is played using your hands, anyway the ref's whistle wouldn't work underwater.

 

[John Brown]

How can it be called "football" when it is played using your hands, anyway the ref's whistle wouldn't work underwater.

Ask an American. They play football mainly using hands.
I have read somewhere that it's because they play on foot, rather than on horseback, but that sounds like test icles to me.

 

[stuart little]

Your football/American NFL/our CFL football fields. All different and I don't watch or play any so have no idea how long a Led Zeppelin album is.
Oh and I didn't get that joke either.

Carry on.

Pete

Pete, I've cracked that joke:- Lemon in---t = lemon [in] zest (that pulpy stuff under the peel!

Stuart