Joke Thread 4

[wurglesnash357]

Perhaps the forum could automatically recycle jokes from the JOKES 1 thread.

With a bit of luck "goldfish syndrome" will kick in. They do say the old ones are the best - and if lucky we may laugh again at that which amused us first time around.

There's no such thing as an old joke - there's always somebody who hasn't heard it yet! Perhaps we could give it a try.

Les

 

[Doug B]

 

[dizjasta]

If a centipede a pint what would a precipice?

 

[dizjasta]

The answer is "A Sheer Drop"

 

[gwaithcoed]

A Max Miiler joke.
A man standing at the bar supping a pint when the phone rings
He picks up the phone and a lady said "Darling you know that car I've been talking about you know we can afford it and I would be so grateful if I could have it. "
After a moments thought he said "OK darling go and get it and you can show me how grateful later"
He then held the phone aloft and shouted "Who dose this phone belong to"

 

[Robbo3]

 

[Morag Jones]

 

[Doug B]

 

[Ozi]

View attachment 180701

Never been so glad my mother couldn't ride a bike! She was deadly enough with a dish cloth - a taste you never forget.

 

[Amateur]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

View attachment 180726

A friend asked his grandmother what she would be wearing to his wedding - she said the same as I always wear to your weddings.

 

[Doug B]

 

[MorrisWoodman12]

Wow! Some jokes! Anyone would think someone's complained there weren't any here on the joke thread.

 

[Stan]

From the best man at my son's wedding...

"Before I begin the speech proper, I would like to make a public service announcement. To the person who lost a wallet containing £60, I found the wallet".

From when I had to give the best man speech, I recommended the ABC-XYZ of giving speeches.

Always Be Cheerful - eXamine Your Zip (beforehand).

 

[Vulcan]

View attachment 180727

You forgot the text. It’s a “Pure Bread”!

 

[Tris]

You forgot the text. It’s a “Pure Bread”!

Given the expression 'cross bread' might be more likely

 

[dizjasta]

Given the expression 'cross bread' might be more likely

The dog will be a winner at the "Crusts Dog Show"

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]

 

[Yorkieguy]