Joke Thread 4
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Doug B
Shy Tot
I'm so excited today.
I shouldn't get like this, especially at my age.
My wife says I should calm down.
I even put my coat on, but she made me take it off, and have a nice cup of calming tea.
But I left half of it.
I couldnt wait any longer.
The text came in.
The chap at the door greeted me.
:Good day sir welcome to the new Screwfix store, your order will be with you shortly."
Best day out all winter.
I shouldn't get like this, especially at my age.
My wife says I should calm down.
I even put my coat on, but she made me take it off, and have a nice cup of calming tea.
But I left half of it.
I couldnt wait any longer.
The text came in.
The chap at the door greeted me.
:Good day sir welcome to the new Screwfix store, your order will be with you shortly."
Best day out all winter.
stuart little
Established Member
For that price, I'd expect a tank or artillery piece - Škoda still make them, don't they? 
Who the 'ell thinks up those 'hinky' car names?
Who the 'ell thinks up those 'hinky' car names?
They have to be totally meaningless in every world language.
Vauxhall Nova. They missed "Pajero" though. Not good in Spanish.
stuart little
Established Member
Only in recent 20 or so years, they all used to be comprehensive.
sploo
Somewhat extinguished member
I believe "Punto" also has an unfortunate slang meaning in some Spanish speaking countries.
That was the problem - comprehensive, but in different meanings in different languages.
Here are a few -
https://www.carthrottle.com/post/49rx9gg
Welcome to Auto Trader Online
Doug B
Shy Tot
One of my first cars was a Skoda Estelle. It was a heap of **** and had negative street credibility. BUT, it was given to me for free ( just before it was sent to the scrap heap ), and was reasonably cheap to run. For an engine, 4 wheels and some seats, that was legal and moved, it could not be bettered for the price! I ( would have ) laughed all the way to the bank.
For a while I collected Skoda jokes, not always willingly.
What do you call a convertible Skoda with the top down and a twin exhaust? A wheelbarrow.
What do you call a convertible Skoda with the top down but without a twin exhaust? A skip.
A man went into a garage and said to the mechanic,
"Could you give me a petrol cap for my Skoda?"
The mechanic replied,
"sounds like a fair exchange".
How do you double the value of your Skoda? Fill it up with petrol.
For a while I collected Skoda jokes, not always willingly.
What do you call a convertible Skoda with the top down and a twin exhaust? A wheelbarrow.
What do you call a convertible Skoda with the top down but without a twin exhaust? A skip.
A man went into a garage and said to the mechanic,
"Could you give me a petrol cap for my Skoda?"
The mechanic replied,
"sounds like a fair exchange".
How do you double the value of your Skoda? Fill it up with petrol.
Terry - Somerset
Established Member
I had the joy of a 1967 Skoda 1000MB early in my motoring career.
Bought because was cheap and better equipped than an earlier Ford Anglia which had gone to rust bucket heaven.
The worst car I ever owned. The only way to reliably get it started was to hook up 2 batteries so the starter motor and coil were turbocharged with 24 volts. Alternative - find a hill to roll it down for a jump start.
Big end bearing went - I rebuilt engine - went again so I reinforced the bearing with some metal foil. Didn't work!
On reassembly would not select 3rd gear. Careful application of a 2lb hammer on the linkage meant that it would never see 3rd gear again.
Drove it for a further 6 months until MOT time using just gears 1,2 and 4. Then it too joined the rest of the rot boxes in the celestial ever after.
The best car I owned was also a Skoda, albeit 40 years later. 10 years, 160k, 50+ mpg - the only not service replacement were the rear hatch struts.
Bought because was cheap and better equipped than an earlier Ford Anglia which had gone to rust bucket heaven.
The worst car I ever owned. The only way to reliably get it started was to hook up 2 batteries so the starter motor and coil were turbocharged with 24 volts. Alternative - find a hill to roll it down for a jump start.
Big end bearing went - I rebuilt engine - went again so I reinforced the bearing with some metal foil. Didn't work!
On reassembly would not select 3rd gear. Careful application of a 2lb hammer on the linkage meant that it would never see 3rd gear again.
Drove it for a further 6 months until MOT time using just gears 1,2 and 4. Then it too joined the rest of the rot boxes in the celestial ever after.
The best car I owned was also a Skoda, albeit 40 years later. 10 years, 160k, 50+ mpg - the only not service replacement were the rear hatch struts.
The higher spec Skodas had heated rear screen, keeps your hands warm while pushing it.
My friend went bust in the early '80s, he went from a Roller to a little three cylinder Škoda he bought for £50. He said it was the best car he'd ever bought, it did everything he wanted from it, he drove it for 18 months and sold it for £50.
Fidget
Trying
I'm in the wrong place didn't realise this was a motoring thread
After the Daewoo Number 1..... some spoil sport told them
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