Friendship vs Greed

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beech1948":34hhu7sz said:
MikeG.":34hhu7sz said:
Did you confront your friend?

Us English hate causing a fuss with friends and family, and tend to avoid confrontation and argument. I don't hold by the same strictures, and a number of my friends are the same. If that had been a friend of mine I would have said how sad and disappointed I was to see such selfishness from someone I thought to be above that sort of thing. Friendship can survive a bit of honesty, generally, and if it can't, then it wasn't worth the candle in the first place.

Not yet. I'm still considering but am erring on the side of confrontation. I was a bit shocked to be honest at seeing all this stuff in one place. I'm seeing him again on Wednesday so will wait until then.

It's moot now surely with the lockdown. I share your dilemma though. Our two locals closed last Friday. I didn't go but a friend did. He said the first one was very busy and he stayed for a long time. Then he went down to the second one - equally as busy - for a lock-in. Not impressed with him TBH but have said nothing.
 
And to continue the theme: https://brobible.com/culture/article/co ... -hoarders/

Now that most Costcos around the country are restocked with essential items the store is putting up signs saying they will not be accepting returns for toilet paper, water, hand sanitizer and other high-demand items that many people were hoarding for no good reason.

Schadenfreude
noun [ U ]
UK /ˈʃɑː.dənˌfrɔɪ.də/ US /ˈʃɑː.dənˌfrɔɪ.də/

a feeling of pleasure or satisfaction when something bad happens to someone else
 
We tend to keep a pretty decent stock at home of everything from food (potatoes, flour, sugar, pasta, vegetable oil, meat, berries and fruit from last season, sauerkraut and preserved beetroots and carrots from last autumn, onions and oatmeal and so on) to toilet paper to timber and nails and bolts and mild steel profiles and welding rod and linseed oil and grinder discs and motor oil and diesel fuel and firewood. The basics of everyday life.
This saves both time and money during good times as the nearest grocery store is 7 kilometres away and the nearest timberyard is 8 kilometres away and the nearest hardware store is 20 kilometres away. If you count the time and the fuel and the wear on the car then the modern sort of just-in-time shopping becomes very expensive.

This in turn means that when we went "hoarding" for the approaching crisis we just stocked up on such essentials that we were low on at the moment. Bought just a little more than we usually do of some.
I want to point out that we aren't preppers.

If more people had this sort of larder and cellar based householding there would have been no reason for panic and very little hoarding. A few bales more of toiletpaper and a few bags more of potatoes sold and that would have been it.
 
That's a very good point Phil. I've never been inside a private house in Finland, but of all the "European" houses (and flats) I've lived in (Switzerland and Germany) they are general MUCH bigger (floor area) than UK houses, AND always have a cellar.
 
Trainee neophyte":3ovsx9l3 said:
I don't like forcing people to do things, mainly because I don't like being forced to do things. Force can get out of hand far too quickly, and all government is rule backed by a self-declared monopoly on violence.

The UK government have been heavily criticised for not locking down much earlier. They tried appealing to common sense but it didn't work as was obvious when the hoards who don't posses any blatantly ignored the advice. That will already result in many lives lost. Eventually the UK will return to being a democratic country, in the meantime this is without doubt a war scenario.
In the current climate would you rather ask for a permit or die? It's a safe bet that every one of us will have a relative, friend or colleague who will succumb to this virus and everyone of us needs to change attitude and have some respect and regard for others.

If you dislike like the political regime in Greece so much then perhaps you're living in the wrong country TN though sometimes I think you're actually on a different planet. :lol:
 
Lons":3rmhg4xm said:
Trainee neophyte":3rmhg4xm said:
I don't like forcing people to do things, mainly because I don't like being forced to do things. Force can get out of hand far too quickly, and all government is rule backed by a self-declared monopoly on violence.

The UK government have been heavily criticised for not locking down much earlier. They tried appealing to common sense but it didn't work as was obvious when the hoards who don't posses any blatantly ignored the advice. That will already result in many lives lost. Eventually the UK will return to being a democratic country, in the meantime this is without doubt a war scenario.
In the current climate would you rather ask for a permit or die? It's a safe bet that every one of us will have a relative, friend or colleague who will succumb to this virus and everyone of us needs to change attitude and have some respect and regard for others.

If you dislike like the political regime in Greece so much then perhaps you're living in the wrong country TN though sometimes I think you're actually on a different planet. :lol:

I freely admit to not thinking in the same way as other people - it causes no end of complications, but over the years I have got used to it, unlike everyone who doesn't know me, and then has to deal with my insanities. I do apologise - it's not intentional, I promise you.

Regarding martial law, state supression of freedom etc - if you are cynical, you might consider that any government given the opportunity to take more power, will take that power gladly. It will be much less enthusiastic about giving it up again, later. Does government ever get smaller?

Speaking of government, there is a €400 limit on cash withdrawals here, as of today. Capital controls in other words. This may or may not get worse, and may or may not spread to other countries - but is probably a good canary in the coal mine regarding the state of banks. Make of that what you will.
 
Boris has put paid to my meeting up with the Stockpiling friend. So I called him on the phone and we had a debate that lasted maybe 4 minutes. He got completely angry and defensive, swore a bit, called me a bas****rd and I put the phone down. Friendship lost and gone. Kind of sad really. Oh well back to the office as my business is operating closed down except for me.
 
That's incredibly sad. I pity your (ex?) friend and feel sorry for you that his behaviour has broken up a long term friendship. I must say it would probably do the same for me if I was in a similar situation. Thankfully my good friends would never exhibit such greediness. Or at least I'd hope they wouldn't, and I assume you probably thought the same!
 
that's sad to hear, but I suspect a touch of a guilty conscience made him defensive... it may be that in more normal times, common sense will prevail and he will come around
 
When all this is over and he gets tired of eating canned beans he might do the right thing and donate them to the local food bank.

Pete
 
I think you were expecting this, he knows he is in the wrong hence the anger. I feel the days were numbered from the minute he showed you his hoarde.

Bill
 
What the others said, it's sad but when everything has blown over things often have a habit of recovering.
Seems a shame to lose a 30 year friendship but in your case I would have had little hesitation in telling him he's wrong.
 
Im not all that sure if your friend is all that wrong, in a worst case scenario he may have provided for you too. I wonder how families are feeling just now. Imagine having to have 3 months of food to feed 5 people, I dont see anything wrong with them bulk buying. People panic nothing new there and some of the stuff could be from the very bad winter last..last year, cant remember when really but the shelves were emptied over a bit of snow that was gone in no time.
This is my first pandemic and possibly going to be my first GOV lockdown, restrictions are in place but its is not absolute. I have not panic bulk bought anything and im happy to forage through the shops and buy the food that others deem unworthy. Only thing i did stock up on was dog food, i usually buy 1-2 months a time anyway but now i have 3 months. If i get stuck in the house he has a good supply and if worse comes to worse he has always been the sharing kind :D .
My wife passed away 6 months ago now from cancer, we are only in our mid 40's so Im on my own now and can get by on very little if need be. My outlook on life changed when she died and i no longer let stuff 'bother' me. Work is about to shut down so i can have lots of tinker time in the workshops. I should remain sane provided the internet and utilities hold up :shock: .
 
cammy9r":35yunfcy said:
Im not all that sure if your friend is all that wrong, in a worst case scenario he may have provided for you too. I wonder how families are feeling just now. Imagine having to have 3 months of food to feed 5 people, I dont see anything wrong with them bulk buying. People panic nothing new there and some of the stuff could be from the very bad winter last..last year, cant remember when really but the shelves were emptied over a bit of snow that was gone in no time.
This is my first pandemic and possibly going to be my first GOV lockdown, restrictions are in place but its is not absolute. I have not panic bulk bought anything and im happy to forage through the shops and buy the food that others deem unworthy. Only thing i did stock up on was dog food, i usually buy 1-2 months a time anyway but now i have 3 months. If i get stuck in the house he has a good supply and if worse comes to worse he has always been the sharing kind :D .
My wife passed away 6 months ago now from cancer, we are only in our mid 40's so Im on my own now and can get by on very little if need be. My outlook on life changed when she died and i no longer let stuff 'bother' me. Work is about to shut down so i can have lots of tinker time in the workshops. I should remain sane provided the internet and utilities hold up :shock: .

His friend hoarding and bulk buying is wrong though. But mostly it's unneccesary. In the short term he's denied other people access to all the items he (and other panic buyers) have cleared up from the shelves. Supermarkets are not closing, people are not being denied access to them. There is no good reason to have filled an entire bedroom with all this stuff.
 
cammy9r":218oegb8 said:
My wife passed away 6 months ago now from cancer, we are only in our mid 40's so Im on my own now and can get by on very little if need be. My outlook on life changed when she died and i no longer let stuff 'bother' me. Work is about to shut down so i can have lots of tinker time in the workshops. I should remain sane provided the internet and utilities hold up :shock: .

Hi cammy9r. I am in similar circumstances to you - lost my wife to cancer in our early 50s (15 yrs ago) and have been living alone since. A crazy cat keeps me company, he's a great comfort. Just wanted to reach out, say hello, and tell you you have (at least) one kindred spirit here. It does get easier, hang in there.
 
To those who have lost a loved one my condolences.

I have had time to ruminate on this overnight as I was quite upset by his response. My response ranged from annoyance, to pity to down right anger at his language.

After all is said an done though I merely mentioned my disappointment at his actions and the effect on others. I thought that for a friend use of the word "disappointment" would be enough. I'll give it time and also have decided to just be pleasant if ever in his company again but not to seek it out.

Al
 

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