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jpw123

Established Member
Joined
26 Nov 2014
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lancashire
Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided?

The survivors were marooned.

*******
A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says:

"Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."

Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The little silver haired lady says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."

Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says:

"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ...

"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."

*******
"I’m getting a divorce," said Jack to his mate, Bill. "The wife hasn't spoken with me for six months."

Bill thought for a moment and then replied, "Just make sure you know what you’re doing, Jack. Wives like that are hard to find."
 
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