What to do with cold callers

[Jaco]

Cold Calling

The scene ….
Weekday evening at about 08:30, dinner & dishes done, settle down into comfortable chair ………..

Ring, Ring, Ring goes the phone.
Now who would be calling this time of night?

“Hello, XYZ speaking”
“Good evening, Mr. XYZ, and how are YOU tonight?”

Well up goes the blood pressure 20 points!
Where do they train these people in telephone manners?
Surely you should state your name & company/organisation before asking the state of my health.

Well, so I settle down comfortably next to the phone, this is going to be quite good.

“Well, good evening whoever you are. I am so glad you enquired about my health, don’t get much opportunity for a free medical consultation.”

“Yes, but I …..” he tries to interrupt.

“Lets start off with my gout, having endless problems with my one big toe, cant even get a shoe on and can hardly walk. The missus runs herself ragged all day trying to help me.
Then I have this pain in my right arm, can hardly lift the beer mug, and my left hand just seems to loose control of the mug, the stuff keeps on falling and dribbling down the front of my trousers. No fun using a straw and also trying to empty my bladder, o man what a wet mess.”

“Yes, but I just …..” he tries to interrupt a second time.

I carry on relentlessly, warming up to the situation.
“And then I have a problem with my left ear, where this funny stuff keeps on running out, messes up my shirts no end.
And then my prostrate! Do you really think that at my age I should already be suffering from prostrate problems, do you think that Viagra stuff will help?”

“Yes, I just …..” he tries to interrupt a third time.

“And then to crown it all, I have endless S--- with my haemorrhoids, you just cannot believe the blood and …..”
CLICK goes the phone.

Well hopefully my number will be blacklisted with the Cold Callers Association.


PS – this is an actual event and some of the words and language has been toned down.

 

[martlewis]

Had a call today from a company on behalf of t-mobile, when they asked what contract I had I said they should know, at which point they told me they are actually nothing to do with t-mobile except they offer their contract.

When he asked what phone I had I said I don't own a mobile, at which point he started talking about various handsets and plans. After about 10 mins he suddenly stopped and said that if I didn't have a mobile then how come I had answered on a mobile number? a few seconds silence then he hung up!!! Enough said.

 

[Benchwayze]

Hi Filsgreen,

I have done precisely as you suggest.
Put my number on a selective list, which the cold-callers are supposed to check before they call any number. Yet I still get cold calls from any number of phone sales persons.
So I just put the phone down.

At the same time, I don't think it's unfair to string them along. Heck, it might even brighten their day, because if they are as human as you say, then they must have some kind of a sense of humour and might see the funny side. After all it's their bosses who pay for the call, not them.

John 8)

 

[devonwoody]

When I get cold callers or accosted at a pavement and I am not in the mood, I always reply in pigeon english: "no speaky english",
They just dont know what to say.

 

[*xen*]

Most times I just pretend to be French.

This works very well, though I confess I'm dreading the day that the voice on the other end of the line says 'OK, préféreriez-vous parler en français ?'.

 

[Nat]

I'm afraid I consider companies who cold call people at home in the evening to be total parasites and scum. I think we all have a civic duty to be as rude as possible to cold callers, then the operatives will quit and eventually the whole 'industry' will collapse.
I always suggest that they should get a more respectable job - such as pimping rent boys.

 

[mailee]

I am with the majority here and hate cold callers. If I wanted to buy something I would go and shop for it. My reply is Hello, Goodbye! and put the phone down. :evil:

 

[Steve Maskery]

I find TPS to be excellent. Not perfect, but we went from daily to a handful a year.

It's when you say "No", put the phone down and they ring back.

"We appear to have been cut off".

"We didn't get cut off, I put the phone down".

"Oh you wouldn't do a rude thing like that!"

"Yes I would, it sounds like this".

He actually had the nerve to ring back, but I just swore loudly and slammed the phone down.

I really don't understand how people think they are going to persude me to part with my money by annoying me.

I know one person who used to keep a whistle by the phone...

CHeers
Steve

 

[Marky]

Ahhh, This thread has been going for a while.

And if you look at the time of this thread, ive just woken up, why I have no idea and this is getting to be the norm. Must be an age thing.

Anyway, I registered with the TPS and it has cut down a hell of a lot of the calls. The ones i seem to get are selling mortgages, life insurance etc.

This I enjoy as I can talk for Britain, and through years of trying I can talk over anybody and quickly and it that doesent work I get real nasty.

Now this may only work with me, but almost all calls are from the sub continent and with my surname Nichols, thay cant say it. They insist my name is Nicholas.

And as I point out continusly why would I purchase any type of financial product from a company that cannot say my name.

'Say my name', No 'What is my name', No ' try it again' No

You get the picture..

It may be their job, but my name is important to me, so say it right or dont speak to me.

They dont last long..... Just dont have the stamina.

*quick look at me watch - and off to bed again*

Marky