Joke thread

[Doug B]

 

[Fidget]

 

[TRITON]

It worked for me, what with being dyslexic.
My wife often says “voice of angel” to which I reply “angle grinder?”

Or Angel grinder.
Often the result of Tinder.

A skeletal hand holding a rusty old thingy! A lamp?

Starwars. It previously belonged to Luke Skywalker.

Apologies to Shed for spoiling his cryptic answer.

 

[Cozzer]

Or Angel grinder.
Often the result of Tinder.


Starwars. It previously belonged to Luke Skywalker.

Apologies to Shed for spoiling his cryptic answer.

Wait for it! Wait for it!

"I don't watch TV...I don't read newspapers....and who is Luke Skywalker?"!

 

[user 38384]

best give her that card after she"s cooked dinner

Using Tesco ’value’ ingredients

 

[AES]

I thought it was SCHEIBENWISCHER? Although it would be funnier if your version was correct.

It is. But that's the whole windscreen wiper (arm + boss + blade). The windscreen wiper blade is actually "scheibenwischerblatt". But his version IS funnier, even if incorrect.

 

[Jameshow]

Was thinking a getting a startrite but then I saw this......
https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Mini-Mul...2349624.m46890.l49286&mkrid=710-127635-2958-0

 

[Trainee neophyte]

But his version IS funnier, even if incorrect.

It's completely made-up nonsense, this being the joke thread. About 100 years ago, pre-internet, I was given a sheet of paper with a list of English to "German" translations. The windscreen wipers are the only one I remember, but there were loads of other Pig - German (and I mean that in the made up, Pig - Latin sense, not as abuse) silliness in the list. Unfortunately it would seem that it didn't make it to the internet, or it is too racist and therefore Google won't recognise it.

 

[Blackswanwood]

 

[Phil Pascoe]

Wait for it! Wait for it!

"I don't watch TV...I don't read newspapers....and who is Luke Skywalker?"!

I rarely watch films - who is Luke Skywalker?

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Jameshow]

 

[kinverkid]

 

[Robbo3]

Translation

A cabinet minister & his snobbish wife were entertaining some French politicians & their wives after trade negotiations.
When dining had finished & the men retired for brandy & cigars, the cabinet ministers wife, wanting to espouse her higher rank & superiority, said to her French counterpart, "Ma marie est sur votre marie dans le cabinet." which translates literally as "My husband is on your husband in the toilet"

 

[Fergie 307]

If we are on to amusing German words, "Einfahrt" and "Ausfahrt" have always entertained, (in fact any kind of fahrt at all) but my favourite has always been the German word for windscreen wipers: "shitenshiffter".

or Barberskum, shaving foam to you and I.

 

[Fergie 307]

And there’s also that chain of Hotels de Ville, that seems to have branches absolu everywhere in France!

love the one in Le Mans, they have a big bronze plaque on the wall, and at the bottom it explains that it is a replica as the original was stolen by the Germans !

 

[gregmcateer]

I suspected that, although I didn't realise Greta & Attenborough were now a couple. That image doesn't sit well with me!

Translation

A cabinet minister & his snobbish wife were entertaining some French politicians & their wives after trade negotiations.
When dining had finished & the men retired for brandy & cigars, the cabinet ministers wife, wanting to espouse her higher rank & superiority, said to her French counterpart, "Ma marie est sur votre marie dans le cabinet." which translates literally as "My husband is on your husband in the toilet"

I like the story, but my pedantic mother would insist it should have been "mon mari", not "ma marie"
Sorry. Hat, coat...

 

[Doug B]

 

[WoodchipWilbur]

I like the story, but my pedantic mother would insist it should have been "mon mari", not "ma marie"
Sorry. Hat, coat...

She'd got pretty well everything else wrong, so "ma marie" will be a perfectly correct quote of what she said.

 

[Linus]

How did this get to be a language thread????