Tess's Tale

[woody67]

May I apologise in advance for what will be a downbeat thread...........

I'm trying to face my demons and not be an ostrich by seeking advice from who, to all intense and purposes, are strangers, but who nonetheless offer sound and genuine advice...

Tess's Tale

Tess was rescued from a shelter 19 years ago, she belonged to an elderly lady with health problems who could no longer could care for "Snooky"

Tess as she was then renamed was a rebellious little pup yet I still forgave her for chewing my sofa and wooden whale sculpture!

In all the 19 years we haven't been apart other than for family holidays or whilst away with work duties. As you can see fro the photo, she is even there when bricks and dust are flying....she really is my best friend.....

Now after all these loyal years, Tess is tired, she is almost blind, occasionally trips and slips and has the odd accident on the carpet.

I suppose it's time to cut to the chase and ask you good people what to do when the dreaded time comes to say goodbye and no doubt one of you will have faced this.

Do I stay with her when the vet carries out the deed?

I want to lay her to rest in our garden, is this normal!?

Sorry once again for the solemn post, especially as the festive season approaches, but I'm finding this quite a cathartic experience and know I can rely on someone to share their experiences in an empathetic, helpful manner.

Many Thanks

Mark

 

[Gary]

Do I stay with her when the vet carries out the deed?

I think only you can answer that, but as you doing the right thing, the best for you beloved dog. I would say yes. Think of it as putting ger to sleep and ending her suffering. But most of all rememeber the good times.
(You got me choked now as I have two 13 years old labs, fit for their age but the day will one day come.)

I want to lay her to rest in our garden, is this normal!?

Yeah perfectly normal. Choose a quiet spot or somewhere you can see from your workshop.

 

[Chems]

Someone showed me this poem at the start of the year when I had to have my 15 year old cat put to sleep, which I think should help you.

If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep;
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle can't be won.

You will be sad, I understand;
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For this day more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years;
What is to come can hold no fears.
You don't want me to suffer so
The time has come, please let me go.

Take me where my needs they'll tend,
But please stay with me 'til the end
To hold me close and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time you will agree,
It was a kindness done for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I'm saved.

Please do not grieve that it was you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, through the years;
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

She was like Tess she had bad kidney and eye problems and accidents but was undeniably a happy cat with her regular medication. But when it became obvious she was in pain over one weekend when her back legs gave out I did the kind thing and took her straight away and stayed with her. Then I buried her in her favourite basket in the garden.

 

[Paul.J]

This is a very very hard decision to make what you are trying to do
We went through the same with Raffles our Dalmatian.
He suffered for months in the end as the medication he was on started to fail and his condition just got worse.
He used to look at us as if he was telling us to help him.
So in the end we had a discussion with the vet and we all agreed it would be best for him to have him put to sleep.
It is also an idea,we were told to get another pup/dog before you go down this route,this softens the blow so to speak.
We have now got another dog,two years later, from the rescue center and she is just brilliant.But we still call her Raffles some times.

 

[loz]

Mark,

For you. http://www.indigo.org/rainbowbridge_ver2.html

 

[hanser]

Mark

Do what you think is right for Tess. I know its a difficult and emotive decision.

From my experience I've been the strong one( you wouldn't have guessed it from the wet eyes!) and been with our pets at the vets when the time has come - and they are resting in our garden.

Perhaps a chat with the vet - they may visit which may be easier for Tess and yourselves. A grand age and lovely memories.

 

[Digit]

Facing a similar problem with our Boxer Mark, and have faced it with others.
It's a terrible time for us all when it comes and each of us has to make that decision in our own way. As to is it strange, if 'tis, then I also am strange.

Roy.

 

[Nigel]

I am sorry you have to make this decision and my heart goes out to you,

Please please stay with her and hold her while the vet gives the injection,
there is no pain and the injection works fast,
I made the mistake of not staying with my 17 year old mongrel over 15 years ago and it still haunts me today,

please excuse the emotion

Nigel

 

[RogerM]

This is such a difficult decision - I know, having had to make it a few years back on behalf of our much loved Cairn Terrier - "Angus" - at the age of 16. Having been full of fun and mischief in his youth, he settled into middle age well, but from age 12 onwards was on a steady decline, becoming arthritic, totally blind and eventually deaf. Finally, he developed a tumour in the bridge of his nose which seeped blood and the end was inevitable. He had been an old dog for a long time and we were just not prepared to see him in pain, with no hope of recovery, and with no "joy" in his life.

As for whether to be with him, that is a personal choice. My wife chose not to be. I decided that I didn't want him to meet his end with strangers so I stayed with him and I don't regret it.

HTH. I think that when the time comes, you'll know.

 

[woody67]

Thank you all for the kind words and honest advice. We went out in the snow this morning and she was bounding about like a good un'! She relies a lot on our other dog Cassie and Cassie looks after her.

Mark

 

[RogerM]

Thank you all for the kind words and honest advice. We went out in the snow this morning and she was bounding about like a good un'! She relies a lot on our other dog Cassie and Cassie looks after her.

Mark

Sounds like there's "life in the old dog yet". :lol: That's brilliant for such an old dog. Plenty of "joy" still in her life obviously. For me, that (or the lack of it) was the key decider. Let's hope that in her own time she'll "do her own thing" and you won't have to make the decision yourself - not everyone has to.

 

[woody67]

Thanks Roger - She still is amazingly spritely for her age and still loves her food - she'd eat me if I stood still long enough.

Thanks again

Mark

 

[flying haggis]

Thank you all for the kind words and honest advice. We went out in the snow this morning and she was bounding about like a good un'! She relies a lot on our other dog Cassie and Cassie looks after her.

Mark

It is a horrible decision to have to make.

I know you cant explain to Cassie that Tess has gone when the time comes but Cassie will miss her as well.

I was with our Cavalier when her time came and I just held her as the vet did the deed. Overdose of anasthetic apparently. And yes I cried, and Idont know how I managed to see to drive home.

 

[cambournepete]

We stayed with both our dogs when they were put down (at separate times).
It didn't occur to us to not be with them.
We even had our 2 year old son with us for the second one.

We also never even thought about burying them in the garden - once they had died the bodies were just an empty shell.

Only you can make the decision though...

 

[Ironballs]

We've had to have 3 of our 4 cats put to sleep this year, an 19 and 17 year old and the little 12 year old who was full of life but developed a tumour on her jaw.

With each we got them the right treatment at the vet to make sure they were as good as could be and once it became clear that they were suffering we made the decision. Two of them were emergency visits to the vet so were put to sleep there, with the other we were able to arrange a home visit, much the preferred option if you can (though of course more expensive).

All of them were taken away to be cremated and we got their ashes back within a few days.

Make the most of your time and you'll know when the time is right

 

[lanemaux]

A few years ago my Rottwieller / Doberman cross named Jenny reached the age when just a minor stumble caused her to break her hip. When the vet arrived , I sat with her and stroked her head until she passed. It was a goodbye that still brings tears to my eyes , yet it could be no other way for me . After 14 years as my daughters and my best bud she got sent off with my affection evident to her . She is now under a patch of ground that she used to favour for napping in the warmer months with some garlic of the purple flowering variety as her marker (garlic in anything was a favorite treat ). We once again have 2 dogs and they are a comfort , but jen is still thought of often and with love. My condolences as your pet must mean as much to you as mine do to me.

 

[Lons]

Hi Mark

A heartbreaking story that's so familiar fo many of us.

You'll know only too well when it's time to make the decision. After so many years you'll be all too aware when she's had enough. you just need to have the strength to accept it - not easy!

Ours was 5 years back when our beloved lab, Bess needed that decision.

She had a couple of years earlier, developed a tumour on the front of her lower jaw. Expert advice suggested part of her jaw could be removed with a 90% full cure chance and we took it.
She was eating within hours of the op but sadly it came back and eventually she stopped eating and just looked at us as if to say please do something.
Wife was too distraught to be there but myself and daughter had to be and it was very quick and straightforward.

She's buried in the field with her favourite toy.

You just have to remember the good times and that you've given her a good , happy life and be gratefull for the companionship she's given in return.

Hope you have a while with her yet though.

Best wishes

Bob

 

[woody67]

We had to say goodbye to Tess this morning She fell last night and I had to carry her home.....I vowed never to do it again.

The vet was wonderful and Tess's end was very peaceful and quick.

Thanks for all your advice......I took it all in and it's certainly helped me and my family cope.

Merry Christmas All

Mark

 

[Digit]

Aw dung Mark! I am sorry to hear that.

Roy.

 

[devonwoody]

Sorry to hear of your sad loss.

Don't bury near a shrub, I did many years ago but it made the shrub grow extra vigorously and I have never stopped having to get out the cutters.