Don't you just hate it when...

[Steve Maskery]

...you get talking to the sparkie who has come to do the electrics. It turns out he is a closet woodyu, loves my workshop.

"Come and see my furniture", says I.

"These chairs are unusual", says he.

"Yes, they are a cross between Sam Mallof, Ercol and Charles Rennie Mackintosh", says I.

"What do you call them?"

"Steve Maskery's most excellent and comfortable dining chairs!", says I.

"I knew a Maskery once, we had a Mr Maskery at our school".

Breathing quickens, mild panic starting to set in.

"Er, what school was that then?" Panic developing by the second. Sweat breaking out n forehead.

"Margaret Glen-Bott" says he.

Ah. I refrained from asking him whether that particular Mr Maskery was a good teacher or not. Best not to tempt providence, eh? Besides which, I know the answer to that one,only too well.

Well it was 27 years ago :shock: I've worn better than he has.
S

 

[DaveL]

I used to teach at an FE College.

I moved house and while unloading stuff from the van for the workshop, chap comes out of the house across the road. Takes one look at me and calls out "Hello Dave, how you doing?" :shock:

Took me a fortnight to work out I had taught him 12 years earlier and another week to remember his name.

 

[Smudger]

I get a lot of "do you remember my mum? You taught/expelled her." And in one case, a grandmother...

And people I just don't remember who claim I taught them/expelled/shouted loudly at them years ago. I'm just embarrassed that I can never remember their names.

 

[richburrow]

We had one of those inspiring speakers at an inset the other day. His story not mine.
He was returning to the school that he went to as a child to be head master (in the Wirral.) As he walked in on the first day a young lad came up to him and said you had a fight with my dad. He asked if he had won and the kid said yes you battered him. Head said right go and tell all of your mates.

 

[Smudger]

When I started teaching there was a guy with a really badly broken nose - I mean spread over his face. Every year he looked at the toughest fourth years and said "See my nose? British army welterweight champ four years running."

I know for a fact that he did it falling off his bike after an evening down the pub, but it worked a treat.

 

[Les1693]

It was the final exam for an English course at a university. Like most freshman courses, it was designed to weed out new students, having over 700 students in the class.

The professor was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. Thirty minutes into the exam, a student came rushing in and asked for an exam booklet.

"You're not going to have time to finish this," the professor stated as he handed the student a booklet.

"Yes, I will," replied the student. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the students filed up and handed their exams in. All except the late student, who continued writing. Half an hour later, he finally came up to the professor's desk and attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets.

"No you don't, I am not going to accept that, It's late!" The student looked incredulous and angry.

"Do you know who I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact, I don't," replied the professor sarcastically.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" the student asked again.

"No, and I don't care," replied the professor with an air of superiority.

"Good!" replied the student, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.