dj.
Established Member
Made me smile, thought I`d share.
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say,what's with that group
ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do
for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. "Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers
believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay
with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look,I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Regards.
dj.
Two engineering students crossing the campus when one said, "Where did
you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was
walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman
rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded
approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit anyway."
Understanding Engineers - Take Two
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half
empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Understanding Engineers - Take Three
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these
guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such
ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greens keeper.
Let's have a word with him." "Hi George! Say,what's with that group
ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we
always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer
for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to
contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do
for them." The engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Four
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.
Understanding Engineers - Take Five
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Six
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. "Just
look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer.
The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last
one said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic
waste pipeline through a recreational area?"
Understanding Engineers - Take Seven
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers
believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"
Understanding Engineers - Take Eight
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the
passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you
are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get
some work done."
Understanding Engineers - Take Nine
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent
over,picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again
and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do
ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it
and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the
matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay
with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look,I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a
girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
Regards.
dj.
