News from Down Under

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Chris Knight

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A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her.

Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news."

"Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first?" The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead."

The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks, "what's the good news.......??

The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share."

He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it.

"Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?"

"Well," the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.....!"
 
Reminds me of a bit of real news from down under.
Our local newspaper (NT News) gave this one prime attention, presumably because they didn't have a good crocodile story handy.

A pair of gray nomads (retiree caravaners) are heading south down the track. The old guy pulls over for a pee, which he does and then hops back in and drives off.

When he stops, the old girl who is lying in the back of the caravan, in the raw, (It gets pretty hot up here) thinks "that's a good idea" and hops out and ducks behind a tree.

Ten minutes later the old guy sees a motorbike overtaking him and his wife (in the raw) waving him down from the pillion.

True story!

Cheers
Bill
 
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