For our Yorkshire friends

[wellywood]

A Barnsley chap is suffering from piles and goes to his local chemist. 'Hast tha got any ar*e cream?' he enquires.
'Aye', says the chemist. 'Dost tha want vanilla or strawberry?'

 

[angelboy]

I laughed but I'd say the sound or "ar*e" to sound like "ice" is more of a Nottinghamshire/Derbyshire dialect.

(Coming from a Yorkshire man - 8 miles out of Barnsley - who's lived in Nottinghamshire for 10 years)

 

[doorframe]

I once saw a dyslexic Yorkshire man with a cat flap on his head. :?

 

[Jonzjob]

It must have been the Reverend William Archibald Spooner me-thinks, or his ghost as he died in 1930, may sod rest his goal. He was quite often seen riding around on his a well-boiled icicle :mrgreen:

He would have been a sensation with Photo-bucket :shock: :shock:

 

[wellywood]

When I first posted this gag, the word ar*e was arbitrarily changed to 'buttock'. It kind of ruined the point of the joke.
I don't know how Francis Bacon would have got on (The higher the monkey climbs, the more he doth show his ar*e) if he'd written using a word processor with the same kind of politically correct software editor.

 

[John Brown]

"When I first posted this gag, the word ar*e was arbitrarily changed to 'buttock'."
Indeed. I read it, and thought I must be stupid, as it made no sense to me, and my father was from Pontefract.

Buttock longa vita brevis.

 

[Robbo3]

I rather liked the name of some friend's moggy. They called it Cooking Fat.

 

[nanscombe]

Ah, good to see an explanation.

As a southerner, who doesn't speak Yorkshire, I was tending to interpret the joke a little too literally. :shock:

 

[Jonzjob]

We must have the same type of mates Robbo. A mate of mine had the same name for his cat :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

Most people couldn't fathom why someone would have such a strange name?

I suppose that it's normal for a Yorkshire chemist to sell arce cream? The French ones certainly doodoo :twisted: but then they are French :mrgreen:

 

[Grahamshed]

Ah, good to see an explanation.

As a southerner, who doesn't speak Yorkshire, I was tending to interpret the joke a little too literally. :shock:

I just thought their sense of humour was beyond me.

 

[wellywood]

I rather liked the name of some friend's moggy. They called it Cooking Fat.

I liked the names a mate gave to his two English Bull Terriers. They were Castor and Pollux after the heavenly twins.
Trouble was, he said, it was OK to go shouting for Castor when he ran off but not the other. :lol:

 

[RossJarvis]

I presume you also heard the one about when Nelson Mandela moved to Barnsley? He had many deliveries of car parts before asking why. Eventually he asked the chap who brought the stuff what was going on. "Thee's Nissan Maindealer isn't thee!!", was the answer. You have to hear it in a Barnsley accent though, and be able to interpret Barnsley.

They still speak Shakespearean English up there. Shakespeare should be acted by kids from Barnsley, not mealy mouthed soft Southerners like usual.

 

[Jonzjob]

Shakespear? He were a Southerner weren't e. Now? Stratford? North or South?

South me-thinks :mrgreen:

 

[finneyb]

Shakespear? He were a Southerner weren't e. Now? Stratford? North or South?

South me-thinks :mrgreen:

Old Will spent a lot of time in the North, it probably taught him a lot.
He was a frequent and regular visitor to Knowsley Hall - Lord Derby's place near Liverpool - and produced plays in nearby Prescot, then in Lancashire.
Not certain he ever went to Yorkshire though

Brian