Russell
Established Member
Fifty Shades of Grey.
The missus bought a paperback
Down t'Shambles, Saturday,
I had a quick look in her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I thot I'd leave her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
Just one hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto t' floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Then things went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple o' minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and.
Said. I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd muttered.
She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ..
I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
and stood on her left twit!
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,..
Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey".
The missus bought a paperback
Down t'Shambles, Saturday,
I had a quick look in her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".
Well I thot I'd leave her to it,
At ten I went to bed.
Just one hour later she appeared;
The sight filled me with dread...
In her left hand she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down onto t' floor,
And then began to strip.
Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Doris hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty four next week.
Watching Doris bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
Then things went from bad to worse;
She toppled off her Zimmer!
She struggled up upon her feet;
A couple o' minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and.
Said. I must dominate her!!
Now if you knew our Doris,
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd muttered.
She stood there nude, naked like;
Bent forward just a bit ..
I thought what the hell,
Stepped forward,
and stood on her left twit!
Doris screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!!
Well readers, I can't tell no more;
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,..
Turned "Fifty Shades of Grey".
