Wild Parrots

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Fecn

Established Member
Joined
29 Aug 2006
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Location
Wilds of Surrey
I looked out of a bedroom window this morning and spotted a green bird land in our apple tree and start eating an apple. Cor blimey I thought and went to grab my camera. I tried to turn the camera on, but the battery was dead. I dashed back upstairs with my phone hoping the parrot would still be there, and found that it had company.

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Hopefully they'll be back and I'll be able to get some better shots with a real camera tomorrow.

Apparently they're Indian Ring Neck Parrakeets descended from escapees in the late 1960s and have been appearing more and more in the south. I'm inside the M25. Amazing.
 
Please shoot all you can, they are a noisy, horrible nuisance that drive domestic birds away and if you have a bird feeder will scoff the lot!
 
They are another B----y immigrant species that we can do with out. One or two might look pretty, but give it a little time and you'll be over run with the damn things.
I have been a bird watcher for over 50 years and my half acre is full of birds as we do everything to encourage them, but Grey Squirrels, Magpies, and Parrakeets if/when they get here will not find a welcome mat out for them!

Roy.
 
...and here's the full episode :lol: - Rob

The Pet Shoppe
A customer enters a pet shop.

Customer: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

C: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

C: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

O: We're closin' for lunch.

C: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

O: There, he moved!

C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!

Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

O: No no! 'E's pining!

C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

O: Well, I'd better replace it, then.

(he takes a quick peek behind the counter)

O: Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

C: I see. I see, I get the picture.

O: I got a slug.

(pause)

C: (sweet as sugar) Pray, does it talk?

O: Nnnnot really.

C: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

O: Look, if you go to my brother's pet shop in Bolton, he'll replace the parrot for you.

C: Bolton, eh? Very well.

The customer leaves.

The customer enters the same pet shop. The owner is putting on a false moustache.

C: This is Bolton, is it?

O: (with a fake mustache) No, it's Ipswitch.

C: (looking at the camera) That's inter-city rail for you.

The customer goes to the train station.

He addresses a man standing behind a desk marked "Complaints".

C: I wish to complain, British-Railways Person.

Attendant: I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS JOB, YOU KNOW!!!

C: I beg your pardon...?

A: I'm a qualified brain surgeon! I only do this job because I like being my own boss!

C: Excuse me, this is irrelevant, isn't it?

A: Yeah, well it's not easy to pad these python files out to 200 lines, you know.

C: Well, I wish to complain. I got on the Bolton train and found myself deposited here in Ipswitch.

A: No, this is Bolton.

C: (to the camera) The pet shop man's brother was lying!!

A: Can't blame British Rail for that.

C: In that case, I shall return to the pet shop!

He does.

C: I understand this IS Bolton.

O: (still with the fake mustache) Yes?

C: You told me it was Ipswitch!

O: ...It was a pun.

C: (pause) A PUN?!?

O: No, no...not a pun...What's that thing that spells the same backwards as forwards?

C: (Long pause) A palindrome...?

O: Yeah, that's it!

C: It's not a palindrome! The palindrome of "Bolton" would be "Notlob"!! It don't work!!

O: Well, what do you want?

C: I'm not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer as I think this is getting too silly!

Sergeant-Major: Quite agree, quite agree, too silly, far too silly...
 
I'm not far from you Fenc and the most I have counted is 16, been around our parts for a couple of years now.

Jason
 
Hi

They have been around for a number of years. I too live in Surrey inside the M25 at New Haw. Behind my workshop is a field and we used to get flocks of them in the trees, literally up to 100 birds, but I see less now. They also used to congregate around Hersham, Esher, that sort of area. Esher Rugby club adopted them as their mascot as the tress there used to be full of them, though I understand they see less of them now too. Maybe they are spreading themselves around now.

Mark
 
A friend of mine is driven wild by them in Twickenham, and we have them at school (Putney). I quite like to watch them when I'm on duty - makes a change from the Magpies, Jays, Thrushes, Sparrows and Pigeons. And the bloody squirrels.
 
Smudger":3qk6fs9k said:
A friend of mine is driven wild by them in Twickenham, and we have them at school (Putney). I quite like to watch them when I'm on duty - makes a change from the Magpies, Jays, Thrushes, Sparrows and Pigeons. And the bloody squirrels.

What a poetic picture you paint of your working day, Smudge.

I have this image of Potter the caretaker from 'Please Sir' sat with his mop and bucket gazing wistfully at the wildlife of leafy Fenn Street!
 
As I type this I am just taking a break from writing references, looking out over landscaped grounds. I can see a crow and a magpie over by the tennis courts and a bloddy nother squirrel playing on the open-air stage.
There was a lot to be said for the old LCC's approach to school building.

But no mop or bucket these days - just lots of Colombians with power polishers...
 
Dan Tovey":bn35omha said:
Rob,

I thought I was pretty sad being able to recite Monty Python sketches down the pub, but to type them out on an internet forum...



... that's too tragic for words!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Dan - sad git arn't I... the wonders of Google and the copy/paste facility :lol: :lol: - Rob
 
I wasn't fast enough to get any pictures, but we had three parrots in the tree earlier today - Obviously word about the apples on our tree (in January) is getting around the parrot community.

I have to say that I quite like seeing them around (for now) - It brightens up the garden and reminds me of being on holiday in Barbados... but if they become a pest I might have to visit Toys-R-Us and buy a Flyt gun.

L10361836.jpg
 
They are a menace Fecn. If they are eating the apples in your garden then they are denying them to native species.
Many people dislike the idea of control of wild life, but unfortunately it is a necessary evil.
When man took his first steps on this island he modified the environment, and once you do that you have a responsibility to excercise control.
The RSPB decided to encourage Harriers on their reserves, now they find the other species are suffering as a result of the increased numbers.
They banned the shooting of Magpies, and have had to reverse their decision.
I don't like killing anything, I've seen too much of it in my life time, but I control Squirrels and Magpies to the benefit of rarer species, I consider it a duty.

Roy.
 

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