Hee Hee
Saw that the other day and forgot to post it here.
Here are the others I was sent;
Some old, some new. Some funnier than others
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Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of
humus and Taramasalata. It's a double dip recession.
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A dwarf goes to a very good but very busy doctor and asks "I know you are
busy but do you treat dwarves?"
The doctor replies "Yes, but you will have to be a little patient".
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Jonathan Ross has been accused of shoplifting a kitchen utensil from Tesco.
Ross says it was a whisk he was prepared to take.
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Paddy & Mick stagger out of the zoo with blood pouring from them..
"pineapples to that" said Paddy "That's the last time I go lion dancing"
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Paddy says to Mick, "Christmas is on Friday this year". Mick said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th then."
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My mate just hired an Eastern European cleaner, took her 15 hours to hoover the house. Turns out she was a Slovak.
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Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in.
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Two women called at my door and asked what bread I ate. When I said white, they gave me a lecture on the benefits of brown bread for 30 minutes.
I think they were those Hovis Witnesses.
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A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt ..
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Rocher.......
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Just A Reminder to those who stole Electrical Goods in Last Year's Riots......
Your One Year Manufacturer's Warranty Runs Out Soon.
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Two junkies accidentally snorted curry powder instead of cocaine.
Both in hospital...... One's in a korma....... The other's got a dodgy tikka!
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A boy asks his granny, 'Have you seen my pills, they were labelled LSD?'
Granny replies, pipper the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?!
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A woman standing nude in front of a mirror says to her husband: 'I look horrible, I feel fat and ugly, pay me a compliment.' He replies, 'Your eyesight is perfect.'
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An elderly couple are in church. About halfway through the service, the
wife leans over and says to her husband, 'I just let out a silent fart;
what do you think I should do?'
He replies, 'Put a new battery in your hearing aid.'
