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Christmas Present

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Anonymous

Guest
Hi All

One of the most freely given yet most rarely accepted gifts (so my mother told me) is good advice. Recently, I took Jester's good advice and ordered a sack of offcuts from SL Hardwoods because it is so difficult to get hardwood where I live. I later mentioned that I'd placed the order to my other half, who then suggested that it would be a lovely Christmas present for him. This seemed like the answer to another problem I'd got: what to buy at Christmas for the man who appears to have everything.

It arrived this morning. Now, I'm not one of these 6 stone 4 foot dots who can't open jam jars, but I reckon this bag is heavier than I am and bigger than our entertainment centre! It took me all my strength to lug it inside the house. It's now sitting at the foot of the stairs and I'm hoping to hide it in the kitchen temporarily. Unfortunately, if it's in there for more than a few hours he'll find it.

Now, I know he's expecting it and it won't come as a great surprise, but I would like to hide the sack in full view until Christmas morning. The point of this post is, can anyone suggest how I might camouflage it? I had thought of tying it up in muslin and sticking a sprig of holly on top so that I could tell him I had agreed to store a particularly large and mis-shapen plum duff for the local homeless charity - I don't think he'd believe me, though. Nor would he believe that I'd got a bulk order of pickling spice for some Christmas chutney, although I do tend to make it by the gallon.

All suggestions will be considered (except those from Jester - it's her fault I'm in this mess! :) ) when I return from the pharmcist having bought a little something to help support my poor strained back, stomach, arms.....

Happy Christmas

Gill (who isn't being altogether serious)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
You could always say that it is one of Santa's sacks of toys that you've offered to look after until Christmas Eve. Under new EU regulations, the maximum permissible load on a Sleigh has been limited, so Santa now has to organise pickup points around the world in advance; otherwise he risks having his sleigh impounded for overloading. Imagine the outcry that would occur if all the good little boys & girls woken up on Christmas morning to find their stockings empty :shock: You are just doing your bit to help avoid this catastrophe
 
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Anonymous

Guest
You could always wrap each piece individually. That way he'd have lots of presents to open on Christmas day :D

However, I can picture the day...

'Thank you dear. Another piece of hardwood... I wonder what the next present will be..... Oh you shouldn't have! ANOTHER piece of hardwood. (etc., etc., etc....)' :wink:

Just out of curiosity, have you had a peek in the bag to see what's in it? I've seen the lots advertised and wondered what you got in it (wood species, piece sizes)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Just tell him it is a bag to put all that reindeer poop in that keeps falling off the roof at xmas time!! :wink:
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Gill,

S'not my fault... :cry:

How about putting it in a big black bin liner and claiming it's waiting to be picked up for the charity shop? Hmm, maybe the EU one is more believable. (santa) Although the idea of all the bits wrapped up individually is sort of appealing... If you started now, you might get it finished by Christmas. (d)

Cheers, Jester
Who hardly ever takes no for an answer when it comes to offering advice... :roll:
 
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Anonymous

Guest
Many thanks for the wonderfully imaginative suggestions. Much more friendly than the so-called friend who suggested that if I put the sack of wood into bed and surreptitiously snoozed in the spare bedroom until Christmas he probably wouldn't notice the difference.

Like you, Dr D, I'm curious to see what's in the sack too. Gosh, it's just like being a littl'un again and having to wait to see what Santa's bought. I'll report back once the turkey and mince pies have begun to settle.

Actually, I'm very pleased that you suggested SL Hardwoods to me, Jester, which I'm confident will prove to be very good advice indeed. The bag looks like a potential bargain, especially for those of us who tend to make smaller items. His Lordship makes very small items indeed, although I don't think he means to. They start off as relatively big items but after 10 minutes on his lathe...

Gill

What lovely festive icons (d) (d) (d) (santa) (santa) (santa)
 
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Anonymous

Guest
On opening the SL Hardwoods sack we found 2 large pieces of oak that would have easily cost half as much as the whole sack had they been bought individually as turning blanks. There's quite a variety of woods in the sack, mostly hardwood from what I can see. All of the off-cuts are large enough to be put to practical use. It looks like exceptionally good value for turners or those of us who work on a smaller scale.

Incidentally, the bow saw arrived in time for Christmas and I finished my marquetry picture on Christmas Eve. All 3 items (sack, saw and picture) were well received and a Merry Christmas was had by all. I hope everybody else had as good a day as us.

Gill

(santa)
 
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