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Alexam

Bandsaw Boxmaker
Joined
27 Nov 2013
Messages
2,599
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Location
Wythall, near Birmingham
One I hears a while ago ............................

A DEAD DUCK
A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay
her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
the bird's chest.

After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so
sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm sure. The duck is
dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any
testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a
few moments later with a black Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner
looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws
on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He
then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head. The vet patted the
dog and took it out and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat.

The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to
its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its
head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is
most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a
bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock,
took the bill. "£250!" she cried, "£250 just to tell me my duck is
dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill
would have been £20. But with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it all
adds up."

Alex
 

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